April Fool's 09

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April Fool's 09

Gears of War: Epic Quest Preview


A Testosterone-fueled Slugfest

Developer: Epic Games | Publisher: Microsoft
Release Date: April 30, 2009 | System/s: Xbox LIGHT

Microsoft is finally moving forward in a bid to give Nintendo and Sony a run for their money on the handheld gaming front, with its recently announced Xbox LIGHT. The high-powered, triple-screened portable system will make its debut later this month alongside some killer AAA franchises. Epic Games proved its penchant for wanton manliness with two action-packed, muscle-flexing entries in the Gears of War series, and it now plans to pander to man-child desires of excessive gunplay and chainsaw battles against the Locust Horde while on-the-go. Gears of War: Epic Quest is about to tear you a new one.

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Taking place during the six months between the original game and its sequel, Epic Quest sees the impossibly ripped protagonist, Marcus Fenix, kicking back a few brews with his Delta Squad buddies during the brief calm that followed the detonation of the Lightmass bomb in Gears of War. Comparing the size of their rocket launchers, the buzzed gang of soldiers is caught off guard by some thugs who waylay the group, strip them of their gear, and run off to a secret hideout in the nearby mountains. Vowing revenge, Fenix and his pals man-up and set off to even the score, unknowingly walking right past the mounting Locust forces they thought they'd bested.

April Fool's 09 - Gears of War: Epic Quest

Straying slightly from the series' normal path, the adrenaline-fueled battles are mostly played out against other human brigands in Epic Quest. The Locust Horde is indeed woven into the story in unique ways, but their involvement is mainly peripheral in this slugfest. The game will feature stunning graphics via a modified version of the Unreal Engine 3 that's been pared down to portable form. The development team has stated Epic Quest's visuals will be on par with the original Xbox - an impressive feat on a handheld. Expect to find many of the same powerful armaments from the two main titles alongside some new gear being rolled out for this portable GoW installment. Fans of the chainsaw duels from the sequel will feel right at home with the over-the-top might of Fenix's new chainsaw codpiece - a special unlockable item that allows you to assert your über-manliness in exhilarating new ways.

Bridging the gap between GoW 1 and 2, Epic Quest promises to be a high-octane journey filled with sweat, grit, muscles, blood spray, and a high body count. When the game ships, it will no doubt leave you wondering how so much testosterone could possibly be crammed into such a small package.

By Nathan Meunier
CCC Staff Contributor



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