April 1, 2010 - In an effort to shed its "pretty boy" image, the Wii will soon see the release of Pokémon Cock Fighter, a mature reboot of the Pokémon series. The player takes on the role of Ash Ketchum, who travels from farm to farm to catch different kinds of roosters, train them, and enhance their abilities with a cocktail of hormone-adjusting drugs. Eventually Ash will be able to make his dreams come true when he finds his way into the seedy underworld of illegal cock fighting, where he can put razor-sharp "spurs" (blades that attack to the feet) on his beloved collection of roosters and force them to fight against other roosters in tiny arenas. An exciting demonstration at E3 2009 showed off one of these backroom arenas, a smoke-filled room packed to capacity with shouting, drunken, blood-crazed mobs, with money exchanging hands between lowlife hoodlums and enforcers who take bets on the fight's outcome.
These illegal backroom matches really show off the technological potential of the Wii-mote. During the cock fights, the player does not actually control his rooster (he only trains it beforehand), but instead controls Ash Ketchum. Using the Wii-mote, the player can make Ash wave his hands, pump his fists, exchange money during bets, or press buttons to unleash a string of expletives or shout encouragement. These "vocal combos" can even be upgraded as the player progresses.
There's also a great cast of characters. Allies include a re-imagined version of Misty, who would do anything to help her teammate Ash because her heroin addiction forces her to attain a steady income with as little effort as possible. There is even a new version of Brock who lives in a dilapidated trailer park, dresses solely in basketball jerseys, was lobotomized in a psychiatric institution before he escaped, and now follows Ash on his journey because he has little else to do with his time. You can also find plenty of corrupt veterinarians who will sell you meds "under the table" so you can keep your cocks in fighting shape. As for villains, Team Rocket often shows up to make trouble with their genetically-engineered supersoldier war-chickens, which they use as live field experiments for the military's sinister gene manipulation program.
The true villains in Pokémon Cock Fighter, as in real life, are the snitches who show up at the arena, talk the talk, gain your trust and your friendship, and then call the cops on you and try to shut down your operation. Gotta catch 'em all!
Kyle B. Stiff
CCC Freelance Writer