Ivy (SoulCalibur series)
While there are many, many girls of gaming who's outfits show just a little too much, Ivy's may take the cake. I mean she might as well be naked. Don't get me wrong, it's incredible impressive that she manages to even fit in that, but the only message conveyed by Ivy's all-purple… thing is that she doesn't like clothing very much. And the heels? Who wears heels to a street fight? Come on now. Either commit to getting nude or don't, lady.
Shahdee (Prince of Persia: Warrior Within)
Once again, Warrior Within's antagonist's outfit is erotic enough (if you're into that sort of thing), but it makes zero sense when you consider what her actual aims are. As an empress' assistant, her job is to keep the titular Prince from reaching the Island of Time, beating the bad guy, saving the world, and yada yada. But instead of engaging in close-quarters combat with a normal suit of armor, Shahdee does so in a metal bikini, g-string and all. Why? I don't know. Maybe she thought she could somehow seduce the Prince into submission. It gets worse when you consider her death, which came after she was stabbed through the torso. You know what probably would have helped her there? Not being naked.
Dixie Kong (Donkey Kong Country series)
This is a rather curious case. On the one hand, there's nothing inherently wrong with the Kong girl's outfit. It's girly, fun, and not gratuitous in any way. But on the other hand, she's a monkey. I've never been a fan of people who dress up their pets, so to see an animal wearing human clothing strikes me as a little unnecessary. Dixie would be far better served just going with her place in nature—one of the perks of being an animal is that she doesn't need to adhere to human society's oppressive codes of conduct. So jump freely, Dixie, and don't let our people clothing constrict your natural platforming movements.
It's a full-body hair suit. Nuff said. I just hope she has enough shampoo for that thing.
Date: October 16, 2012
*The views expressed within this article are solely the opinion of the author and do not express the views held by Cheat Code Central. This week's is also purely a work of fiction*