Mega Man (Mega Man Star Force)
Mega Man has had a lot of origin stories over the years. Classic Mega Man, X, Zero, and even Legends have always, to a degree, claimed Mega Man was some sort of robot or cyborg. And Mega Man Battle Network features an alternate A.I. version of Mega Man. However, Mega Man Star Force's screwy universe has alien dragons merging with human beings in order to traverse an electromagnetic world high up above the earth's atmosphere. It is just a strange coincidence that this alien dragon form an entity that looks like a blue robot with an arm cannon.
Serah (Final Fantasy XIII-2)
Apparently, at the end of Final Fantasy XIII, Lightning is sucked through a rift in space-time. Serah remembers this, but no one else does, and time gets all screwed up in the FFXIII universe. Someone from the end of time finds a way to travel back in time (for no good reason), and they time travel in an attempt to find Lightning. Instead, they find that Serah has the power of a seer, a strange emo villain is trying to destroy the time stream, and Serah has to die in order to set things right. Does that make sense to anyone else?
Sora, Roxas, Ventus, Vanitas, or Whoever He Is (Kingdom Hearts series)
In the original Kingdom Hearts, Sora is a child whose heart is strangely pure, and who is unfortunately entangled in a fight to save the multi-verse when his best friend turned to darkness. In Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories, he loses his memories and goes into a coma. In Kingdom Hearts 2, he fuses with his Nobody, which is apparently a previously unmentioned byproduct of turning into a Heartless. In Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep, a kid named Ventus—who looks like Sora's Nobody—comes in contact with Sora, who shares half of his heart and makes Vanitas a dark version of Sora. Ventus has his heart shattered and then merges with Vanitas. He's defeated, and now he hibernates within Sora and comes out as Roxas. Only Roxas seems to have no memory about when he was Ventus, but he can still remember when he was Sora.
Okay, so I have no idea if any of this is actually true.
Boogerman is just a total failure. He's a superhero that uses farts, poop, and boogers to defeat his enemies. However, he is not actually superpowered in any way, making him sort of like a body fluids version of Batman. He just chooses to dress like a superhero and throw his snot at enemies. It's disgusting, it's juvenile, and that damn game wasn't even fun to play.
Mario (The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!)
I can already hear the boos coming from the Nintendo fanboys. Face it, even though Mario is a beloved character, his back story is whack. If you believe The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!, Mario is a plumber from Brooklyn who was sucked down a toilet and brought to a magical kingdom where he becomes a hero by jumping on things. Yes, Mario's origin is falling into a toilet—a pretty lame origin for a character we love so much.
Angelo M. D'Argenio
Date: September 12, 2012
*The views expressed within this article are solely the opinion of the author and do not express the views held by Cheat Code Central. This week's is also purely a work of fiction*