Albert Wesker (Resident Evil series)
I've been a fan of the Resident Evil franchise since the beginning, but I've never been a big fan of the series' titular antagonist, Albert Wesker. My disdain for his character only continued to grow when he reappeared in Resident Evil 5 with his Matrix-inspired moves and apparel. He's one of the cheesier characters in the series, and that's saying something when it comes to Resident Evil's eclectic cast of wacky misfits. After he took a rocket to the face in Resident Evil 5 (spoiler!), I hope he's taken the hint and gone away for good.
Bowser (Super Mario series)
I think my main issue with Bowser is his bizarre fascination with Princess Peach. Seriously, what is fueling his desire to enslave that poor woman? I've lost count of how many times he's kidnapped Peach, forcing Mario to save her again and again. You'd think by now Peach would have a continuous guard of highly trained soldiers ready to take out any Godzilla wannabes who wanted to abduct her again. Bowser isn't evil; he just needs to get a hobby, because right now he comes across as a little pathetic.
I've decided to include the Creeper in this list mainly out of my undying hatred for that little green creature. Creepers are the kamikaze ninjas of the Minecraft world, because they have a remarkable ability to sneak up on you at the most inopportune times so they can ruin your day and most likely a good portion of whatever it was you were building at the time. Dear Creepers, I hate you.
343 Guilty Spark (Halo)
343 Guilty Spark is one of the few noticeable blemishes on the stellar Halo series. If there was anything that was going to rile up fans of the series, the last thing I ever thought it'd be is a floating light bulb with an annoying voice. Guilty Spark is the Navi of the Halo franchise, so it's a good thing we were rid of him pretty early on in the series. Unsurprisingly, the fight against Guilty Spark is about as memorable as he was as a character, but at least Halo fans won't have to deal with him any longer.
I think we can all agree that NeverDead is an abomination of a game that, like Duke Nukem Forever, never should have seen the light of day. Really, you couldn't throw a rock without hitting a poorly crafted character, because Bryce is a jerk who's trying too hard to be like Dante from Devil May Cry and Arcadia is a completely unlikeable character who should be used as an example for how not to design a character in a video game. The guy—or thing, rather—from NeverDead that really takes the cake is the demon king Astaroth. Astaroth looks like the product of a guy who decided to hotbox himself in a room with copious amounts of psychedelics and a limited selection of watercolors. He's nonsensical, bizarre, and just plain dumb. In other words, he represents the game he's in perfectly.
Date: August 29, 2012
*The views expressed within this article are solely the opinion of the author and do not express the views held by Cheat Code Central. This week's is also purely a work of fiction*