Cole's Corner - You Are a Video Game Ambassador

People are always knocking things they don't understand: rap music, bungee jumping, physics, skateboards, iPads, deep fried ice cream, and Susan Boyle.

It may be human nature to be suspicious of the unknown, but one must be somewhat familiar with a subject in order to offer an opinion of any merit. Unqualified criticism is a product of emotional immaturity. For instance, I don't think you're very smart, and I consider you hideous looking. While it's true that I don't know you at all, I didn't claim to be very emotionally developed.

Video games are often the target for such inane, negative criticism. Many of these haters would like to gather in the street and stone the offending consoles to bits and bytes. Why do they hate video games so intensely? What is aiding them in forming their unwarranted opinions? The answer is you.

Non-gamers are gleaning information on gaming vicariously through you. They have no other access to the industry. They are watching you and drawing conclusions, and attributing gaming as the cause of anything they deem socially unacceptable. Simply put: Your actions have an effect on the perception of the gaming industry, and gaming community at large.

Cole's Corner - You Are a Video Game Ambassador

From now on you must take the title of Goodwill Ambassador of Video Game Enthusiasts, and act accordingly. You are a PR of the industry. Simply offering some statistics to the haters will help to educate them, and pass you off as an intellectual. Here are a few:

Video games have outsold movies, worldwide, since 2008.

Recent studies conducted by psychologists determine gamers display increased degrees of intelligence due to sophisticated games that require puzzle-solving, memorization, and other complex tasks.

Sims are used to train and test players in a variety of skills such as driving, flying, singing, and economics. And don't neglect to mention the popularity of motion games that keeping the fit fitter and the unfit guilty.

If you have a hard time recalling such stats, or if public speaking is not your forte, hand the people back their wallets and just run away.

Going forward, you will be required to follow these guidelines so we may present gaming in a more positive light:

Limit the use of the word "dude" in conversation. It is not an accepted personal pronoun.

Baths are not just for court appearances.

Opting for the more expensive AC/DC hoodie instead of the T-shirt is not appropriate for a wedding, especially if you are in the wedding party. Or are the groom.

Be seen with a girl on occasion. Your mother accompanying you to the dentist doesn't count.

Swearing at, or otherwise berating, video game characters will not hurt or intimidate them. The only character it will destroy is your own.

Potato chips and Pepsi are not super-foods.

Don't imitate catchy guitar riffs with your mouth.

Pull your pants up. Batman wears a belt; so can you.

Cole's Corner - You Are a Video Game Ambassador

7-11 is not where the "in crowd" hangs. And, while I'm at it, you and your group of gruesome goons do not constitute a "gang."

Sunglasses are for outdoor use only. Unless you're a rock star. But you know you're not, and everyone else knows you're not.

In a real poker game, don't go "all in" every third hand.

Don't hold up the express checkout in Walmart because you're playing a game on your phone. And while I'm at it, don't hold up the line in any coffee shop with the purchase of a "sissy drink." Coffee should always be enjoyed black. If you need English toffee, burnt chocolate, or whipped cream with hazelnut shavings, buy a candy bar at Zellers.

Seriously reconsider the temptation to add more metal to your face. Exercise the same thought process regarding tattoos.

And finally, never mention my name in polite company.

By
Cole Smith
SeniorContributing Writer
Date: February 3, 2012

*The views expressed within this article are solely the opinion of the author and do not express the views held by Cheat Code Central.*