your power outlet becomes sentient and starts
communicating with you DO NOT plug anything into
it. You could seriously damage what may be the
start of a beautiful friendship between humans
and (hopefully) hilariously sassy electricity
with a penchant for wacky one-liners.
a wig or other disguises on your GameCube to pretty
it up for your own sick fetishes is not only disgusting,
but highly irregular. If you find yourself kissing,
caressing or otherwise fondling the system in
a manner that the Pope would deem "Over the
Top", please desist immediately.
your GameCube to start smoking or drinking is
strictly prohibited. The GameCube system is not
meant to ingest these toxins. If your GameCube
accidentally starts smoking on it's own, please
order the Nintendo GameCube Patch and allow it
to kick the habit within 4-6 weeks.
on your GameCube may cause the system to smell
bad for a period of time. It may also interfere
with the normal functions of the system. Even
if you are upset with the fact that you should
have bought an XBox instead, please use a toilet
like a normal person would.
positioning your GameCube to bring harm against
ugly annoying children is a general No-No. Also,
do not instruct the child to nurse on the powercord
as this may result in teeth abnormalities and
brain disorders, which may lead to an eventual
career in game journalism.
not get to close to the GameCube if it has not
been fed in a long period of time. It may snap
at you or bite. If you are caught by it's powerful
jaws, simply say the magic incantation:"Miyamoto
- Miyamoto - Miyamoto" and it should release
you. If this doesn't work, call in the SWAT team.,
cuz you're a dead man.
Nintendo Accordian Peripheral (NA-1001) will
not hook up directly to the GameCube. You will
need the Accordian Ethernet Hub adapter (allows
up to 4 accordians) and the Accordian Link Cables.
"The Legend of Zelda: Accordian of Time"
is sold separately.
your GameCube system to the Dark Overlord of Hell
is not recommended. Doing so may result in disembodied
voices eminating from your soul, discharges of
dark green vomit, uncontrollable swearing, levitation
and most disturbingly, a penchant for old Ozzy
you are unsure if contact with the Prince of Darkness
has been made, check the GameCube to see if a
small pointy devil tail hasn't grown out of it's
posterior canal. If this is the case, do not plug
the devil tail into anything electrical as this
will give Satan the doorway to our world that
he has been craving for centuries.
the GameCube(s) as platform shoes to get the ladies
is not something it was intended to do. If you
do intend to use the system for this purpose,
disconnect any controller cords or powercords
that may obstruct your ability to walk cooly into
a room full of hot babes. Nintendo is not held
responsible for any ugly chicks that you get stuck