GAMECUBE WARNINGS #2
Who says the Japanese are smarter than we are? Look at the encyclopedia of warnings they have in their Japanese GameCube manuals. What have the Japanese been doing to their game systems over the years to warrant these kind of safety precautions?
 
  It is advised that you do not let any fictional characters such as Thing from the Addams Family (pictured at left) plug in your GameCube system. These delightful, but mythical creatures should not be given the added responsibilty of applying electricity conducting metal prongs to 110 V circuitry.
  Balancing a screwdriver on your index finger in front of the GameCube may result in the GameCube experiencing feelings of inadequacy as it has no limbs or digits of it's own to reproduce the trick. We strongly advise that you do not tease your game system or make it feel "less than human".
  If any of the GameCube mini discs try to engage you in conversation, politely decline or say (firmly in a deep, angry tone of voice) "No comment!". If it continues to talk, unplug the game system from the wall, and empty an entire chamber of bullets from a 38 in it's upper casing while screaming "DIE!"
  Do not vibrate your molecules at a faster frequency rate than is humanly possible. This may cause your GameCube to exist in many different realities at once, accidentally causing the implosion of the universe. Or it may open the portal to the 4th or 5th dimension, which is a very bad thing.
  If you are bitten by a radioactive GameCube controller and consequently take on the proportionate strength of the device, make a fancy suit, ignore the thug that will eventually kill your uncle, vow to serve justice and get a whole bunch of oneliners ready while you fight evil at every turn.
  If you have no choice but to jump out of a crashing airplane do not mistake the GameCube or any of it's peripherals for a parachute. When falling from any height, the GameCube will not slow your descent, in fact quite the opposite is true. Just look at our sales charts and you'll see how fast this thing brings our company down.
 

Game systems do NOT function vertically. Although Sony has stated that the PS2 will function vertically, thousands of PS2's are experiencing disc read errors and the price to the consumer after warranty is $200. On second thought, the GameCube WILL function if placed vertically, so go ahead and ignore the picture...it'll be fine. Honest...

  If you create a magical snowman that comes to life and you want to protect if from a heater, simply move it outside into the cold, rather than place your GameCube system to act as a shield so that your snowman friend won't melt causing it to go back to hell, from whence it came.
 

If any of Spider-Man's deadliest foes are over at your house, such as Electro or the Shocker, do not let them place their hands inside the game machine. This may cause heartfailure to the tiny little mouse that is running in the wheel which is the GameCube's central processing unit or CPU.

  Scientists are discovering that electronic devices, if left alone in the same room, will try and dominate each other. If you leave your purple GameCube in a room with a kick ass 43" TV or Retro looking radio, it will have no choice but to become their "bitch".