By Kyle B. Stiff
Is going out for Halloween this year really such a great idea? There's nothing more humiliating than having a gang of five year olds throwing "poke balls" at you, laughing because they don't think you have what it takes to attack a child in public. My advice? I say celebrate Halloween as you would celebrate any other wonderful day of the year. That is, with hour after hour of nonstop gaming from the safety of your sanctuary.
Of course, you have to respect the season of death, so I've compiled a video game "to do list" that can help remind you why Halloween is the greatest night of the year.
We've all snuck into funerals that we had no business attending and spent several long, tortured hours trying to work up enough bravery to run up to the casket, push it over, and stomp the body to make sure it stays down. Dead Space was able to tap into this very normal desire, and become an instant classic because it depicted dead bodies that were not just hollow pixels lying on the ground, but where instead malleable, rubbery, twitchy bags of fun that allowed gamers to stomp for hours, sending up sprays of blood and chunks of grade-A sausage. How many times have you gotten home from work or school, turned on Dead Space, played for a while, then looked at the clock and realized it was already the next day, you were late for school or work, and you hadn't made any progress in the game because you were stomping and dismantling corpses all night? Yeah, I know. Same here.
But the real question is, am I going to spend yet another Halloween dragging bodies from all over the place into one room, dismantling said corpses, and rearranging the limbs into carefully sorted piles of legs here, arms there, heads over by the corner, and so on? Or will I just be satisfied with playing Dead Space again?