The real world is really starting to get on my nerves. No sooner do I start getting into a game, (at about the four or five-hour mark) then some form of reality manifests to steal my precious game time. I'm not talking about phone calls, texts, or people at the door, as I always ignore those inconveniences. I'm talking about things like cutting the grass, paying the bills, putting the fire out in the kitchen, taking the kid to the hospital after a hunting mishap, or burying the dead after a nuclear explosion.
Look, I'm not addicted to gaming. Well, not totally addicted. But when a game captivates me, I want to be engaged in it for as long as it takes. Anything that takes me away from that game shall be viewed with the utmost disdain. Lost time from gaming is like a big leak in the gas tank of life.
Why can't they make something like a Bonsai grass that doesn't grow higher than a half-inch? If the neighbors don't like the length of my grass, they have their own damn lawnmowers.
Why isn't there a grass-cutting robot? Okay. I know. But one that I can afford? And if it could be played like a video game, that would solve some of the problem. But it won't wash the dishes, prepare supper, go to the supermarket, cut my hair, and shovel the driveway (I'm Canadian, after all. And yes, I did use inches as a measurement reference instead of centimeters, which are not bugs by the way).
And nothing interrupts a great gaming session more than work or school. That is, unless you play and review video games for a living. But you won't get that job if you don't stay in school and learn how to write. And here's a tip for all you wannabe writers: Have a point. Good grammar is essential, but for #$%+'s sake, say something interesting. I would like to tell you that Tweeting, Twittering, and Blogging are great places to start, but that's like saying a CB is a great place to begin your broadcasting career. "Breaker, breaker, good buddy. This here's fifty-seven-year-old Slim from Wisconsin. I have a fake Texas accent, and I'm still looking for my first girlfriend."
If you truly love gaming, then you've had poignant phrases thrown at you such as "time management," "learn to exercise restraint," and "more healthy social interaction." These armchair psychologists think they're helping you, but it's just a cry for attention. If these people had a life—or were good-looking—they wouldn't need so much of my attention. Is it my fault they aren't as interesting a multi-million dollar video game? You can't make up for lost time, so don't let them steal it from you.
The moral of this story is life is too short not to play video games. Chances are there are not any video games in heaven, as I've not spied any massively long extension cords dangling from the clouds. But I'm sure there are plenty of them wherever we gamers are going.
By Cole Smith
CCC Senior Contributing Writer
*The views expressed within this article are solely the opinion of the author and do not express the views held by Cheat Code Central.*