The Halo movie finally got its director a little bit ago, but the selection has more than a few worried. Neill Blomkamp is a highly-accredited short-film and commercial director, but that means nothing in terms of a feature-length film. Is Halo destined to be another cruddy movie-based game? Thinking about this got us here at the office wondering. Which have been worse, videogame-based movies or movie-licensed videogames?
We compiled a list of terrible movies and videogames, weeded out the mediocre, and ranked the worst from one to eight. Each movie and game will go head to head with their respective opponent, and each winner (or loser, depending) earns a point for their medium. Make sure you have your can of air-freshener ready, because these titles stink.
8. Wing Commander vs. King Kong (DS)
For the first round we have two titles that, while terrible in their own rights, would not make anyone’s top five list in their respective “worst” categories. King Kong is pretty much a joke to anyone who owns a Nintendo DS, while Wing Commander took some of the least talented actors and threw them into a shoddy plotline. To say that either of these is bad would be an understatement, but they are only an indication of what’s to come.
Winner: King Kong DS (Game)
Freddie Prinze Jr. and Matthew Lillard in jumpsuits is simply no match for the giant ape with his clunky control and absolute lack of gameplay. I had more fun having teeth removed at a dentist than when I had to play this shameful game. If there were any time that I wanted an intern to do my job for me, it was this.
7. Bloodrayne vs. Batman and Robin (PS)
Any videogame that director Uwe Boll lays his hands on instantly turns into manure, and Bloodrayne is his latest debacle. It’s amazing that publishers even agree to sell him the rights to their properties with his track record. This is no easy win, however, as Batman and Robin was a worse game than the film that it was licensed after. George Clooney may be excellent as Danny Ocean, but he’s easily the worst Bruce Wayne ever.
Winner: Bloodrayne (Movie)
As you will see throughout, Uwe Boll movies attain a level of stench that has seldom been seen before. The movie took place long before any events of the actual game and defiles any sort of timeline the game series established. Mr. Boll even manages to take an excellent actor in Ben Kingsly and dash his reputation with ease. Let this be a lesson to the rest of the film industry, avoid Boll like a leper.