6. Dungeons and Dragons vs. Beethoven: The Ultimate Canine Caper (SNES)
Our first classic bad game goes up against Marlon Wayans. It almost doesn’t seem like a fair fight to be honest. Beethoven was plenty bad for sure, with asinine platforming elements and an inane storyline. The visuals were also sub par for an SNES title of its day. But going toe-to-toe with a movie that bills Mr. Wayans in a fantasy movie looks like suicide.
Winner: Dungeons and Dragons (Movie)
The trainer-slash-coach for the movie-based games team cried foul when he saw Dungeons and Dragons in the line-up. After all, Dungeons and Dragons began as a paper-and-pencil game, not a videogame. There have been D&D games on various consoles and on the PC, so the reigning referee allowed it. Any movie that can turn a dynamic actor such as Jeremy Irons into a laughing stock easily has a place on this list.
5. Alone in the Dark vs. Blues Brothers 2000 (N64)
Uwe Boll films anchor the middle of the movie lineup, each one lacking everything that makes a movie watch-able. Alone in the Dark is a shining example of this, but the competition isn’t going to lie down and let the movies take three straight rounds. Blues Brothers 2000, which in film form was a travesty to both the original and SNL skit, gets an even more offensive game to go along with it. The entire game looks like a bad Banjo-Kazooee clone where players collect money and save their band-mates from danger.
Winner: Alone in the Dark (Movie)It was a tough decision, but the judges list the all-crud lineup of Alone in the Dark as the deciding factor in this round. Christian Slater and Tara Reid, irritating and untalented by themselves combine forces with the worst director that’s ever been behind the camera to butcher the original survival-horror game. Forget the tension and suspense that launched a genre. Here, scientists with machine guns will take care of all the scary things so you can rest easy. Or turn off the DVD player like we did.