20. Excessive Force
Video games are kind of like Texas in that they live by the axiom: "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing big." Evidence of this can be seen in fighting games everywhere. Heck, a standard attack at this point might do twenty hits or more, with combos reaching up into the hundreds of hits. However, RPGs easily take the cake when it comes to excessive and downright ludicrous force. Final bosses in RPGs tend to have attacks that destroy entire universes. Many of you may remember Sephiroth's attack where he destroyed every planet in the solar system, which you survived to heal your party up with a simple Megalixer. Then he proceeded to do it again. It's a good thing we had that spare Pluto lying around. It's not like it's a real planet anyway.
19. Swords > Guns
I think game developers have this backward. I noticed way back in the days of the JRPG that swords were the most powerful weapon in the universe, but I didn't think that this would carry over to the world of FPSs. In fact, it seems like any melee weapon is more powerful than a gun. Backstabbing, pistol-whipping, and even punching all seem to score an insta-kill, while bullet after bullet have to be poured into an enemy to make sure he goes down.
18. The Latin Chorus
I don't even know what these guys are saying, but whenever they start chanting, the awesome power of the dark lord I am fighting becomes very evident. If I ever become an evil overlord, I'm going to have my own Latin chorus follow me around when I do mundane stuff, just so people can tremble in my footsteps. I'll be going to the store to buy some gum, and when I receive my change my chorus will break into "Spiritus Domini" and other Latin words I don't know the meaning of.
17. Ugly = Evil
A good way to judge how evil someone is in a video game is by looking at how ugly that person is. Protagonists are always easy to look at in some way. If they aren't bishonen pretty boys, they are jacked space marines. Evil henchmen run the gamut from thin to thick, short to tall, and so on. Get even more evil and corrupt and you may grow your own tasteless moustache. Sure, you'll find some pretty villains once in a while (mostly of the silver-haired variety), but for the most part, the ugly characters are almost always the evil characters.
16. Brooding Villains
Earlier on this list, I talked about the brooding protagonist. Well, the brooding villain is at least as common. Originally, villains were evil for the sake of being evil. Now, our emperor never got enough hugs as a child, and that's all the motivation he needs to attempt to destroy the world. I mean, come on. It's not as if a single inferiority complex arising from a father who always thought you were useless and constantly criticized you for chasing your dream of being a video game journalist—ahem! Sorry. It's not like a bad childhood could really motivate anyone to attempt to destroy the world. Much.
15. Chest-High Walls
The addition of cover systems to third person shooters was one of the biggest innovations in the modern age of videogames. However, every bit of progress comes with its side effects. In this case, the side effect is a strange property of physics that makes rubble always crumble to about chest height, just so that you can duck behind it for cover. Also, tables are always made to be chest-high, windows are exactly chest-high, and even that plastic slide you bought your kid is chest-high. I suppose it would be stupid to make a cover system without providing any actual cover, but this is pretty ridiculous.
14. Switch Puzzles
The second brother in the incredibly annoying arbitrary puzzle trio, the switch puzzle is a great way to make you waste time in any given dungeon. These are generally designed to be solved by searching for clues around the dungeon in order to find the exact order of switches to pull to open a gate. Even if there aren't any clues, most game designers expect you to work out what order of switches and effects will open the path ahead. However, gamers tend to just pull switches at random and hope for the best.
13. One Line Townsfolk
Welcome to Corneria! Welcome to Corneria! Welcome to Corneria! Welcome to Corneria! Welcome to Corneria! Welcome to Corneria!
12. Fetch Quests
In every town in the world, there is a person who wants you to kill X amount of monster Y to get Z item and deliver it to place L. Isn't it strange how RPGs always seem to come down to algebra?
11. The Apocalypse
For some reason, game designers are obsessed with the end of the world. Of course, it's one of the oldest tropes in literature and media, but video games really milk it till it's dry. We aren't content with war stories or tales of unrequited love; we can't be bothered to go on a quest unless the fate of the world is somehow at stake.
By Angelo M. D'Argenio
CCC Contributing Writer
*The views expressed within this article are solely the opinion of the author and do not express the views held by Cheat Code Central.*