80. The One Shirt Rule
Video game protagonists aren't entirely known for their sense of style. In fact, they appear to have inherited their wardrobe sensibilities from old cartoon characters. No matter what game you are playing, chances are your main characters only ever wear one outfit, and depending on how Japanese that game is, that one outfit may have seven hundred superfluous buckles. No matter how uncomfortable the outfit looks, however, the character will never take it off unless they have to have a bath scene or something. Similarly, no matter how revealing the outfit is, the character will be just fine in extreme weather conditions from the top of an arctic mountain to the inner bowels of the earth right beside a lava flow. The point is, it's not worth saving the world unless you look good while doing it.
79. Strange First Aid
You know, there are lots of things about human physiology that I didn't know until I played video games. For example, a good night's sleep will cure anything from deadly poisons to being stabbed in the gut. A good meal, on the other hand, has similar medical properties, but not quite as potent. This applies even if you find, say, a hamburger in a dumpster or a chicken inside an oil barrel. That's strange because the last time I ate a hamburger out of a dumpster, I felt like I lost HP rather than gained it.
78. Power-Ups Are for Heroes; Status Effects Are for Villains
There are some laws in the video game world that just cannot be broken. One of these laws is the law of power-ups. Regardless of the fact that powerful lords of evil scatter them around their death fortresses, power-ups are meant only to be used by video-game heroes, and for good reason. Imagine one grunt from contra with a spread shot. Worse, imagine all the grunts with spread shots. We wouldn't stand a chance. It's okay though, because heroes have to follow their own law of status effects. Simply put, any useful status effect like poison, dark, sleep, or even instant death won't work on any enemy who is worth using it on. However, it will work just fine on you and your whole party.
77. The Foreshadowed Boss Fight
Bosses always seem to like to let you know they are coming. In fact, the journey always seems to be more interesting than the destination. Right before you face off against your fated rival, you will most likely walk through an eerily silent hallway lit up with more torches than you have seen in the entire rest of the castle. Then, of course, you'll find two humongous double doors, and there just happen to be a save point, a place to heal, and a shop right outside. Those doors never open to a bathroom, now do they?
76. Invisible Walls
These things are some of the most annoying video game clichés of all time. The video game world has a multitude of impassable barriers that you just can't see. It started with that line of pebbles that the world-saving RPG knights couldn't walk over. Then it got much worse in the age of polygonal graphics, when developers defined the edges of maps as "wherever we damn well feel like it." At this point, I'd be terrified to take two steps in a video game world for fear of walking face first into one of the force fields that seem to be randomly strewn about.
75. The Silent Hallway
Here's a horror game cliché for you. If the game's music or ambient sound randomly stops, you are pretty much boned. If you ever find yourself in a small or enclosed space and everything just goes dead silent, you know what you are just being set up for a jump out scare. Beware of all doors and windows, because most likely there are zombies hiding behind all of them.
74. The Quarter Circle
Fighting games don't have a whole lot of clichés, to tell you the truth. Sure, there are a few character stereotypes, but beyond that, most of the clichés are in the mechanics. So let me ask you this. What does a quarter circle forward do? If you said Hadoken, you are correct. The fireball motion has been around for ages and to this day it is the go to motion for any form of fighting game projectile. In fact, our system of inputs for fighting games really hasn't changed since Street Fighter II.
73. Frontloaded Tutorials
Somewhere in every game world, there is a sign that tells our hero to push the X button to jump. This sign is always right next to the start point of the game, regardless of the fact that our hero has been traveling the world far before the game itself started. Our hero will then go through a bunch of needless trials that don't really teach him anything and that are filled with references to buttons that to him don't really even exist, all because gamers today can't read the damn manual.
72. Horrible Voice Acting
Though many of our modern day video games have gotten better in this respect, bad voice acting is pretty much expected of video games these days. Back when games were young, game developers didn't hire voice actors. In fact, sometimes the game designers themselves provided voices, and it never ended well. I mean, come on. We all remember lines like "you could have been a Jill sandwich," right? At this point, it's weird if a game doesn't have horrible voice acting.
71. The Silent Hero
And here's the solution to number 72. Silent protagonists have been around forever. Even in the days before voice acting was the norm, the infamous "…" line was popularized by heroes from Mario to Chrono. Some silent heroes, like Gordon Freeman, survive even today, while others have been reduced to nothing more than grunts, like Link. In the end, some heroes are better seen but not heard.
By Angelo M. D'Argenio
CCC Contributing Writer
*The views expressed within this article are solely the opinion of the author and do not express the views held by Cheat Code Central.*