The Top 10 Gamer Lies

The Top 10 Gamer Lies

Gamers are liars. I'm not pointing fingers here, because I've lied too. If I had a nickel for every time I lied about beating some boss or playing some game or finding some secret room that for some reason no one else could find, I'd be a rich man. I mean, I started playing games when I was five, and the only thing that astounds me more than the sheer amount of lies I told over my gaming career is the amount of lies that were told back to me.

Maybe we lie because we want to be the cool kids on the block, or maybe we lie because we feel inadequate when someone else is better at a game than we are. Heck, maybe we lie simply to screw with our friends. Either way, we lie, and we lie a lot.

I was able to recall enough common gamer lies to make a top ten list. That's pretty frightening.

The Top 10 Gamer Lies
10. Hey, I Know a Secret.

Go on any internet forum and you will find outlandish reports of things that people are able to do in their favorite games. I've heard of people being able to unlock Goku in Marvel VS Capcom 2 or being able to ride a tank in Call of Duty: Black Ops. In fact, I once told my friends you could play as Usagi Yojimbo in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Arcade game if you beat it without taking a hit. Of course, these are pretty obvious fibs, but some people go through great lengths to make their fake gameplay secrets seem plausible.

I'd say this is one of the most common gamer lies because it's so hard to prove wrong. If you attach a secret to a nearly impossible task, there will be few people out there willing to complete the task to see if you are right. Heck, I still haven't collected every coin in Super Mario 64 in order to unlock Luigi.

The Top 10 Gamer Lies
9. I Beat it Before.

Inadequacy makes us do weird things. When your friends come up to you bragging about the most awesome end boss in a game they have ever seen, of course you are going to say you saw it too. It doesn't matter that you are really still on the second level and you keep dying on that one jumping puzzle over and over again. Nope, you beat the game. In fact, you beat the game before they did, and you thought it was totally awesome way before they even started talking about it. Of course, then they ask you a question like "how did you handle the boss's final attack?" and the best you can answer with is "Uh… well… it wasn't that hard…"


The Top 10 Gamer Lies
8. I Beat It on Hard Mode.

Speaking of hard, sometimes you did actually beat that game, but you had some trouble. Maybe you needed to turn the difficulty down, or maybe you did some level grinding until your eyes bled. Maybe you exploited a glitch or a bug that made the game far too easy. Heck, maybe you just flat-out used a Game Genie or another cheat device. Either way, gamers are very unlikely to admit that they'd used a quick fix to beat a game. I've rarely found a gamer cop to playing a game on easy mode. So either all my friends are real gaming prodigies that can five-star "Through the Fire and Flames" in Guitar Hero 3 on expert, or they are all full of massive amounts of crap.

The Top 10 Gamer Lies
7. I Lost My Save File.

Sometimes a lie gets out of hand and your buddies start asking for proof. When this happens, you normally don't even have any warning. They will just be hanging out at your place and suddenly ask to check out that one boss fight you constantly brag about. What do you do? Obviously, you blame the system. You lost your save file and just can't show them all that awesome stuff you talked about. Your brother deleted your game. Your Xbox went "Red Ring" at the worst time. Your house experienced a power outage when you were saving. Heck, you can't be proven wrong if you ditch the evidence, or in this case, if the evidence never existed in the first place.

The Top 10 Gamer Lies
6. I Heard the Next Game Will…

This is another one of those lies that's kind of mean. During the hype phase of a new upcoming game, people tell all sorts of tall tales about what features the game will have. For example, by the time Marvel Vs. Capcom 3 came out, we had already been through close to seven fake rosters in the rumor sphere. Even now, people are saying the next MVC3 DLC will have Strider in it, and that's based on no evidence whatsoever.

It doesn't stop at fighting games. I heard the new Modern Warfare 3 has fully collapsible buildings. I heard Final Fantasy XIII-2 will import your data from Final Fantasy XIII. I heard Sonic Generations won't totally suck. What evidence do we have for any of this? None. These are all just the passing whims of internet trolls.