If you've ever played a competitive game and absolutely slaughtered your friend, you have probably uttered something like: "I swear I don't know how to weapon parry" or "Dude, I only accidentally grenaded you" or "I don't really know how to drift around corners." The list goes on. But you really do know how. Even if you can't explain it very well, you've done it and you could probably recall the steps you took to do it. All it takes is a simple pause to clue in your opponent so he's on the same level as you. But that would destroy your advantage, now wouldn't it?
Most of our previous lies were about doing something in a game you own. However, one of the biggest gaming lies is about playing a game that you've never even owned in the first place.
Your friend asks you, "Hey man, you played the new Battlefield?"
To which you reply, "Oh yeah, it was awesome!"
What you meant to say was, "No, I haven't. I never really thought it was that important, but you seem to like it, so I'm going to tell you that I played it before so you think I'm cool. When I get home, I'll read some FAQs about it so that the next time you bring it up, I can talk as if I'd played the game before. That way, I can drop some slang or discuss some game mechanic that you wouldn't think I would know about unless I had my own copy. If you ever want to play with me at my house, I'll just say I lent my copy to a friend, or that I was playing his copy all along." I suppose lying is quicker and easier in this case. The truth is a mouthful.
So let's say that you are just awesome at a particular game. Say that you rarely find any competition, and that all of your friends have stopped playing the game with you because they have no chance in hell of winning. What are you going to do as soon as you find someone who wants to play with you? You are going to lie your ass off, that's what. When you get good, you need to lie just so that people will continue to play with you. It's rough to go through that transition period between being a normal gamer and going pro. Of course, your situation may not be as tragic as this. You might just be out to hustle someone. You jerk.
Even more than lying about how bad they are, people love to lie about how good they are. Of course, this may not be a straight lie; they may simply lack a frame of reference. However, we all have that one friend who swears he could body us in any of our favorite games, yet for some reason he never seems to want to play. You know why? Because he sucks. I can't tell you how many times I have run into "awesome players" that fell to the simplest tactics. Remember, just because you think you're good, it doesn't mean you are good.
No you weren't! For the love of God, you weren't!
This is the single most annoying gaming lie on the face of the universe. Unfortunately, it's also the most common. Everyone who has ever played a fighting game has said the phrase, "I was blocking that." But here's the thing: if you were actually blocking that, you wouldn't have been hit. Maybe you were blocking high when your opponent hit low. Maybe you were hit by an unblockable attack. Maybe you were crossed up in the middle of the assault. Or maybe, just maybe, you weren't fast enough. Still, more likely, you weren't blocking at all and you were only saying this to save face. Well don't. You got it. Take your lumps and move on. I swear if I hear someone else say "I was blocking that," while at the same time I can hear furious button mashing in the background, I'm going to light someone on fire.
By Angel D'Argenio
CCC Contributing Writer
*The views expressed within this article are solely the opinion of the author and do not express the views held by Cheat Code Central.*