Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing has been a staple of many a "Worst Game Ever" list for a long time now, and with good reason. Stellar Stone's 2003… thing said that it would allow players to race across the American countryside while delivering illegal cargo and avoiding the cops hot on their tails, which all sounds well and good until you actually play the game.
There are no cops. There are no objectives. The computer A.I. in the game is non-existent, since your opponents never move from the starting line. There is no collision detection. There are no laws of physics either; you can drive through the entirety of the lifeless environments with no penalty whatsoever. You can't ever lose, and every time you win, you're greeted with those two infamous words of victory: "YOU'RE WINNER!" Really, there's nothing to do at all.
I'm at a bit of a loss on how to approach this one. RapeLay doesn't deserve to be talked about—it's that terrible on a basic human level. At the same time, that's the very reason it has to be included on this list.
I'll just leave it at this: RapeLay is a rape simulator. Pretty much all of the consequences of that statement that you may be thinking about right now are included in the Japan-only eroge game. Not only is this is the kind of product that puts the entire video game industry on watch by paranoid government regulations, it's something utterly devoid of conscious. I can only encourage you not to give it any of your time.
Atari's 1982 version of the popular arcade classic Pac-Man is an especially unfortunate entry on this list. Reportedly the victim of rushed development, this notorious port failed to live up to the lofty standards of the original maze game, with distorted graphics, controls, sound, and most of all, charm.
At the time, it was the highest-selling home console game ever made, but its poor quality led to widespread returns of the title and a growing distrust of Atari as a company. As a result, many analysts have attributed Pac-Man to be a sizable factor in the North American video game crash that would come a year later.
The worst thing about The Guy Game is that the people behind it may have genuinely thought that it's the kind of game all guys would be interested in playing. Here's the shtick of this trivia title: answer questions correctly and you get to see… wait for it… BOOBS!
Look, I have nothing against boobs. In fact, my girlfriend has them. But the fact that so many games on this list, including The Guy Game, use them as an all-encompassing tempter and an excuse for a lack of engaging gameplay is undoubtedly troubling.
If we're going to take video games seriously as a medium, then the Tyranny of Tits probably should come to an end. Otherwise, we might as well lock the basement doors, heat up those Hot Pockets, and fully acknowledge that we are no better than the typical stereotypes mass culture already thinks game players to be. That's one type of fantasy that video games do not need to bring to life.
Date: September 6, 2012
*The views expressed within this article are solely the opinion of the author and do not express the views held by Cheat Code Central.*