You know all of those samurai games where you slash at your enemies with awesome swords? You'd remember them because they were actually fun to play. Well, Sengoku Basara decided to go in a different direction. According to the cover, Sengoku Basara is mostly about doing your hair and standing around thrusting your pelvis at other samurai dudes.
It's no secret that hunting games are notoriously boring. The problem is that most of them don't include drinking or actual bloodshed, so the payoff is significantly smaller. But Canada Hunt has found a way to make the hunting genre even less enjoyable; by using animals that are either made of plastic or are already dead—I can't decide.
I'd give anything to have been in the room during the meeting where the employees at Sysoft decided that a ninja/scooter combination would be something that all the kids would love. Actually, I think would have rather been in the meeting where they brainstormed accessories for a ninja's scooter: "Dude. Put at least two skulls on the scooter, otherwise he's not a real ninja."
Wait a minute. Why doesn't that wrestler have a head? And whose head does he have in a headlock? Is that his own head, or another headless wrestler's head? To be a pro wrestler, do you need to be able to remove your own head?
So many questions.
The only game that even comes close to rivaling the original Mega Man's terrible box art is Mega Man 2, also known as Mega Man 1's slightly less disfigured brother. But while the original only had one unpleasant cover, Mega Man 2 had three.
I'm not exactly sure why Capcom produced two European box covers and one U.S. version, but they're all atrocious. In the the U.S., for some reason, Mega Man is still wielding an insubstantial handgun, even though he clearly has a magnificent arm cannon in the actual game. In one European version, Mega Man's arm has clearly been replaced by a bowling pin, and he's obviously trying to use it to flip someone off. And I think the other version must have been designed for a game called "Terrified surfing hunchback."
Date: February 1, 2012
*The views expressed within this article are solely the opinion of the author and do not express the views held by Cheat Code Central.*