Remember all that stuff I sad about film franchises? It's even worse when the movie is terrible.
Here we go again. If you saw this movie, you must already have some idea about how awful this game was. The most enjoyable moment was when I started crying and turned it off. Actually, that was the most enjoyable moment in the movie too.
I feel like a traitor to my gender for putting this one the list, but I just can't ignore the fact that Team Ninja spent more time perfecting breast physics than improving gameplay. And, while I like jiggly things as much as the next guy, DoA X2 always makes me feel creepy and depressed.
I've heard people call Duke Nukem Forever the "Chinese Democracy of the video game industry." but when you consider that Axl Rose is bigger cartoon character than Duke Nukem, DNF was probably a far bigger disappointment than the Axl's record, which makes Duke Nukem Forever more Chinese Democracy than Chinese Democracy. This is obviously not a compliment.
Actually, if DNF had been released in 1998, when it was supposed to hit the market, it would have been a semi-interesting game, but making fans wait around for thirteen years in preparation for a game that would have been past its prime a decade ago is cruel and unusual. If you're Facebook friends with anyone who enjoyed this title, unfriend them. DNF fans are terrible, terrible people.
As if Duke Nukem Forever and Dead Or Alive X2 weren't enough to meet the oversexed-and-unplayable video game quota on this list, Leisure Suit Larry just had to make an appearance.
For those of you who don't remember—or weren't alive—the original Leisure Suit Larry stirred up a small controversy in 1987 when conservative groups got an eyeful of his pixilated soft-core adventures. Well, these days Larry's adventures are slightly less pixilated and slightly less soft-core.
Box Office Bust follows Larry Lovage, the nephew of Larry Laffer, the original Leisure Suit Larry. Now, I didn't think the original Leisure Suit titles were the funniest games ever made, but Lovage's title has to be one of the least funny pieces of comedy ever produced, and it wasn't even written by Carlos Mencia. This is compounded by an endless stream of repetitive tasks, and graphics that almost make the 1987 Leisure Suit title seem technologically advanced.
Sometimes I wonder if this game was produced to flush out society's worst perverts. I had better hide my copy, just in case.
Date: January 26, 2012
*The views expressed within this article are solely the opinion of the author and do not express the views held by Cheat Code Central.*