Last week, we talked some of the worst ways you'll feel ripped off by your favorite games. It was like therapy, only cheaper. Now here are some more game annoyances. It's not that these game related annoyances are any less annoying than the first batch, but we couldn't fit them all into one article. There are enough game-related annoyances to fill a novel. But this isn't a book, and I assume that's why you're reading this in the first place. Here, there's no commitment to read through 339 pages and you'll find no big words to contend with. That should make you feel very funambulistic (see page 338).
The Unbearable Swarm - If you've ever been to a bar or dance with your loser buddies, you'll identify with this annoyance. You're the only one brave enough—and with enough practiced skill—to engage a small group of women. When you look comfortable talking to them and things seem safe from a distance, your gang of idiots descends upon the unsuspecting females like a swarm of insects. You've made such great headway, but now your stooges have ruined a good thing with their sheer numbers and stupidity. It's a similar situation when a processor sends swarms of A.I. enemies to crush your current accomplishments. You are unfairly overwhelmed and helpless to turn the situation around. If you can't relate to this metaphor, you'd better check to see if you're one of the aforementioned loser buddies. Right now.
The Dead End Wait - You attempt to log onto a server in anticipation of joining your old pals for an exquisite Deathmatch du Jour. You wait, and wait, and wait some more. Then you wait again. And continue waiting. At least 25 seconds has passed. This is an internet eternity. An outrage. Finally, the screen changes. Anticipation and anxiety co-mingle. Then you learn the server is full or a connection cannot be made. It's like a blind date showing up two hours late, ten years after that photo of her was taken and ten years after the onset of her eating disorder.
The Drain - Your rapidly depleting health meter is inversely proportional to a rigged Mexican cab meter. Health-wise, you are terminal. There's no way to recover; you're going down fast. (Which isn't completely terrible because that Tijuana taxi fare would kill you anyway.) It's not the tequila, pal; that meter really is spinning faster than the tires. You don't pay the fare, a fight ensues, and you wake up in a Mexican prison. Game over.
Liquidation Sale on This Guy's Inventory: Next Level Only - You scrounge, sacrifice, and risk death in an attempt to save the best weapons and devices for the upcoming boss battle or the next level. Suddenly, without warning, the screen changes and your coveted inventory is all gone. Disappeared. It's like being on a first date and saving all your best stories until after supper. Then you go to the washroom and she bolts. This has never happened to me; I've just heard a lot about it from gaming enthusiasts like you.
By Cole Smith
CCC Senior Contributing Writer
*The views expressed within this article are solely the opinion of the author and do not express the views held by Cheat Code Central.*