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I
don't think that I have to tell you that anything
that's "fun for the whole family" typically
sucks. Let's just say that MC Groovz Dance Craze is
"fun for the whole family."
As
the first dance game for the Cube, MC Groovz Dance
Craze does not make a good first impression. Trying
to cash in on the beat game craze that started in
Japanese arcades and has since trickled down to the
PS2 and Xbox, MC Groovz may actually be detrimental
to dancers that actually have rhythm. The game is
flawed in such a way that the onscreen graphics are
out of synch with the music.
In
case you're not familiar with dancing games let me
offer a brief rundown. During a song, solid arrows
will appear onscreen. They will be facing in different
directions while heading toward hollow arrows. All
you have to do is place your foot on the map in the
area that corresponds to the same direction as the
solid arrow seen onscreen. Do this "in time"
to the music, or at the precise time when the solid
arrow enters the hollow arrow. You have a choice of
either watching the display in a circle or having
it scroll horizontally. The horizontal scroll is the
traditional format but the circle method works better
in this situation due to the outlay of the dance mat.
It's just more difficult to figure out the timing
since it appears instantly in the center.
There
are 29 songs. This is the worst collection of tunes
bar none. They are meant to appeal to the most affected
families you can imagine. By that I mean shallow,
bland morons. Mom and dad used to dance to K.C. and
Sunshine Band while Kaitlyn can't get enough of Jessica
Simpson. With a collection of tunes that include Jewel,
DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince and those other
losers that were mentioned previously it just goes
to show how out of touch Nintendo can be when it wants
to pretend it's Disney by pandering to middle-class
American values.
Not
only is the selection of tunes bad, but they go on
forever. Rather than add new tunes by other artists,
the songs that have been included are extended mixes.
It's like listening to them twice. Who really needs
to listen to seven-minutes of Jessica Simpson? It's
cruel and unusual punishment. There is one solution
to the terrible music selection and it's all due to
the sloppy mechanics which makes the arrows appear
out of time.
Following
the arrows has nothing to do with following the beat.
Even when the song is over the arrows keep coming
for almost half-a-minute. To say this is sloppy would
be an understatement. But since it doesn't seem to
matter what the beat of the song is, you can turn
down the volume and play whatever the hell you want
out of your stereo. Of course I hope that it never
gets to that situation since I'm trying to discourage
you from getting this game in the first place.
The
multi-player, party aspect of a game like this is
completely lost thanks to the extended mix of the
songs. You should be able to cut these down to three
minutes in the multi-player mode. At the very least
you can get some exercise but you'll probably get
more running back to the store to return this game
if you purchased it by mistake. If you happen to receive
this game as a gift, before you open it ask if the
giver still has the receipt for it.
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