GoldenAss 007 2 Review

Bond is Back!
Cool Plot
Excellent Multi-Player Games
Over 25 Items and Weapons
Innovative Puzzles
Transfer Pack Allows Any Game Character Into Multi-Player
Game Box is Edible (?!)
Play as Any Bond From The Movies

Music is Ho Hum
Too Much Jungle Action
Not Enough Human Enemies

It is a little known fact the Ian Fleming, the author of the James Bond books wrote many of his novels at his secluded getaway he called GoldenEye. In fact the book, GoldenEye, was one of the first James Bond books written, although it took close to 40 years for it to see the light of day on the big-screen. A British spy during WWII, Fleming had the experience and the patience to keep a secret; the discovery of the never seen before novel GoldenAss, which was not even known to Fleming's wife or children, drives that point home. The story is based on Bond making his way out of the Aztec jungles but he is sidetracked when an ancient civilization forces him to find the "Precious Burro" or more aptly named "GoldenAss". And you thought the game was about someone's butt... It's about a golden donkey silly. This is where the game starts and you'll have to rely on more than just guns to beat this one. When the Fleming estate auctioned the rights to Golden Ass on Ebay, Sloof Lirpa was able to snap them up and make this little game that will be coming your way shortly.

The game is played from a first person perspective although at times the game allows you to play from a third person viewpoint for difficult jumping areas. Since GoldenAss takes place in the jungle for at least 75% of the game, you'll need to use a machete and not firepower to get you through. In fact, ammo is quite scarce because unlike GoldenEye, enemies don't drop bullets. Most of the enemies you'll face are of the wildlife variety such as gorillas, panthers, cobras, spiders and the odd forgotten tribe of bushpeople. That doesn't mean that this game is more Tarzan than Technological; quite the contrary. Q is able to drop packages to Bond at strategic places in the jungle that contain the latest in kooky gadgetry. The catch is; you may play the whole game and never find one package! All in all there are at least 25 secret weapons and items somewhere in the jungle. And I'm telling you they are some of the coolest weapons I've ever used in a videogame. The stealth modifier is a cloaking device that turns Bond into something like the Predator; he completely takes on the appearance of his surroundings and can't be seen by humans. However, animals can smell him and will attack if they sense his presence. Very cool! The leg extensions work like stilts, except they allow Bond to go about 75 feet in the air. This is great for making a hasty retreat from an angry panther that is nipping at your heels. Bond can also take HUGE steps with the leg extenders and can move across chasms he couldn't before to reach secret areas! If you locate the fusion-enabled grappling hook, look out Spider-man. Bond can swing from tree to tree using this cool device which shoots a beam of electricity that will attach itself to the nearest limb. It reminds me a lot of the weapon in a great little Genesis game called "Generations Lost". Bond can also locate a power-up for the grappling hook which will basically turn his arm into a light saber and allow him to slice through the bush with ease.

The puzzles are ingenious and Sloof Lirpa should be commended. One puzzle had me completely stumped until I noticed a phone number scrawled into a tree. I dialed the number in real life, and a woman answered and told me how to solve the puzzle and it didn't cost me a cent! The game is full of bizarre surprises like that. In another area you are required to get across a crocodile infested river, but there is no way around. Until you notice that they are snapping their jaws in sequence. If you make like Pitfall Harry, you'll get across by jumping onto their heads at the right time! One of the best puzzles of all, (which I won't tell you about exactly), involves plugging the first GoldenEye game into the top of the GoldenAss cartridge and then seeing what takes place. I'm still freaked about that!

Of course, what would a follow up to GoldenEye be without multi-player? Not to be outdone by Perfect Dark's ability to apply your face onto a character in multi-player, Sloof Lirpa took it to the next level. Using Sloof Lirpa's transfer pack (included with the game) you can transfer any (and I mean ANY) game character into GoldenAss! Even if the character is on another game system like the PlayStation, Dreamcast or Colecovision! For fun, we played Sonic against Nemesis (RE3), Tony Hawk and a Mazda Miata from Gran Turismo! Hilarious! The Mazda was the winner although he had to run over the Nemesis about 100 times before he stayed down! Although there is a little slow down during a 4 player match, you won't really care. Another funny match up was Parappa, the fat guy from Wave Race, the block from Adventure on the Atari 2600 and Raziel from Soul Reaver. As you might have guessed, the block from Adventure kicked ass! Featuring a wacky assortment of modes, our second favorite was "Capture the Fag." Now, hold on, this isn't a homophobic slur, in this case "fag" stands for "cigarette"; that's what the British call them. Every character must hunt out the pack of smokes before a CPU controlled Bond finds them. If you can get the smokes back to your base before anyone else, you win. Our first favorite mode was "The 4 Elements". In this game, each character is based on one of the four elements: fire, water, earth and air. Each player is given a certain amount of power and when it's gone, it's gone. But that doesn't mean you are "out". If you are Earth for example, you will be able to control the ground. If you see an enemy coming toward you, you can create a real-time hole in the ground. If that character is Water they can choose to fill the hole with water or if it's the Air character they might float over the hole in order to survive. All Fire can do in that situation is fall! Teaming up is also a cool option. Fire and Air could team up against Water and Earth or Fire and Earth could go against Air and Water, who could attack with buckets of H20 from above to douse those flames. It all depends on you.

Musically the game is a blend of island rhythms, jazzy spy-tinged instrumentals and something that sounds a lot like Barry Manilow's Copa Cobana. The voices are done well, because Sloof Lirpa spared no expense. This time out you can choose what Bond you'd like to look like and talk like. Rich Little (the famous voice impressionist) provides all of the Bond voices; Sean Connery, Pierce Brosnan, Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton, George Lazenby and even Woody Allen (Jimmy Bond in Casino Royale). Talk about production values! You can even punch in a code and play as the late comedian George Burns! Little does a great George!

I can't see how anyone could pass up this one. Sure it'll be vying for attention next to the more publicized Perfect Dark, but do you want fine cuisine or leftovers? This game hasn't left my side since I received my review copy and I'm sure you'll feel the same way. Pre-Order this monster before April 1/00 or risk losing out! Did I mention that the box the game comes in is also edible? That gets big points right there! I don't know how many times I've wished that I could eat the boxes the games come in. Don't ask me why I tried eating this one, but it was darn good! Highly recommended!

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