Successfully complete the indicated task to unlock the corresponding achievement. To view your achievements and stats in Steam, select "Community", "My profile", "View all my games", then the game and view stats.
- I am at Risk of Contracting Mononucleosis, Which is Known Colloquially as the Kissing Disease: This achievement is an award which is awarded for achieving 10,000 kisses total.
- I am One in a Million, and There Are Six Thousand People in the World Exactly Like Me: Awarded for racking up over 999,999.999 points total.
- I Avoid Sleep Wherever Possible, So I Played AaaaaAAaaaAAAaaAAAAaAAAAA!!! a Whole Lot: Awarded for completing 4,096 jumps.
- I Have Broken More Glass Than a Finely Corpulent Opera Singer, and Love Myself For It: Awarded for breaking 1,000 scoring plates.
- I Have Completed Every Single of the New Levels and Can Honestly Say That I am Awesome: Complete the 43 new levels in Awesome. You know, the lower levels? When you click on the down arrow from the level selection screen. Those levels.
- I Have Jumped Beyond the Powers of Two, and Have Lived to Tell the Tale: Awarded for completing your 128th jump.
- One Fewer Than a Lewd Innuendo Because We Are Totally Past That Phase: Get exactly 68 kisses in one level. Not 67, unless you then get the 68th. 70 is right out.
- OooooOOoooOOOooOOOOoOOOOO!!! -- O Ooooooooo Ooooooooo ooo Ooooooo: What if you held the O key down long enough? You could get this achievement. Or, you could say, "Oh, I don't want to do that." That is also okay.
- The Rhylos and Skaery Memorial Achievement, for Which We Will Honor Them: All fives. All five stars. On all levels. 81 levels. Yeah.