Deathtrap Dungeon Review

By: John Doe

I have been waiting for this game for a long time, and I don't know why. I'm not into Ian Livinstone's books, and I don't enjoy fantasy games like RPG's. I guess I thought, it would be another Tomb Raider-esque 3D action game. And I was right. It is. But that's where the comparison stops, and stops abruptly I might add. Read on...

This game is published by Eidos who gave us Tomb Raider. However, don't be mislead. Core Design programmed Tomb Raider, not Eidos. Asylum Studios programmed Deathtrap Dungeon, not Core Design. Get my point? Core did not have anything to do with this game, and therefore it is not up to the standards set by the polygonal Miss Croft. In fact, I can some this up real fast. This game- ahem- BLOWS.

The graphics are horribly dark and grainy giving the game a real first generation look to it (circa early 1996 PSX games.) That would be forgivable if the gameplay and control were in place, but I guess the programmers were too interested in making sure Red Lotus' ass looked good. They even failed in that, by the way. She's got the kind of ass you'd see on someone's mom at the beach, (you know exactly what kind of ass I'm talking about!) The frame rate is choppy which makes the irritating control all that much more, well, irritating.

Sure there are weapons you can find, and spells you can use. You can also get eye strain from the framerate and puke all over your shoes. That rhymed, unintentionally. I'm not going to lie and say I finished the game. Not even close. This is one of those games that begs to be put down and has you clamouring to hook up your Sega CD.

Last word: Don't rent. Try it out in a specialty shop, if you are curious. Don't say I didn't warn you!

I'm not even putting in a rating system. This game isn't worth my time to type those out.

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