Tiny Tank: Up Your Arsenal Review

By: John Doe

Tanks for the memories, Tiny. Wow! Do I know how to reel you in with a delicious pun or what? As Tiny, the foul-mouthed little tank, it's up to you to stop the machines from taking over and destroying the human race, in this 3D action packed, but flawed shoot-em-up.


Even though Tiny the Tank is cute, at least he spits out some major league obscenities while you play, which helps erase the bitter after-taste of said cuteness. I can't believe Sony left all of the swearing in without bleeping out any of it! I mean, Tiny goes off! Up until now, I've only heard some of those words on the playground! Okay, Okay, I'm pulling your leg; Tiny is bleeped out, which is definitely too bad. Having him turn the air blue would have been a refreshing change. Maybe on the PS2...

Although Tiny Tank is fairly standard 3D gameplay, (kill the boss at the end of the level sort of stuff) it's not without it's charm. Tiny can upgrade his 4 weapon pods with spare parts he finds after blowing enemies apart, as well as retrieving the "brains" of these fallen enemies. He can also unleash an unholy army of mini-me's (really tiny tanks!) to take on enemies or to reach places he just can't go. Tiny can also pull off some jumping and hovering moves that you'll need to master if you want to get through this one. The jumping seems a bit slippery at first; much looser than a tank should feel when it's jumping. As we all know, tanks that jump feel much different than this...(tongue in cheek firmly planted).

Throughout the game, Tiny cracks wise and this will either enhance the game or annoy you. At first it's cute, but like all games that feature speech, it wears thin after repeated plays. One of the more interesting audio bits is when the games music dials into a robot radio talk show; pretty funny stuff if you listen carefully. The games music is your standard action fare, but it's truly the extra audio (annoying or not) that receives the most points.

Graphically TT isn't bad at all. There is some pop-in, but nothing that will really affect gameplay all that much. The explosions are great and are one of the highlights of the graphic engine. The environments are large, well designed and feature either post-apocalyptic (or as I prefer to say, postapoptaliptic - take that, spell check!) outdoor scenes or futuristic underground fortresses. The bosses are all very good looking and obviously tower over our miniscule military man. The only big "boo hiss" is to the 3D camera; big surprise there. Sometimes that camera just won't cooperate, and unfortunately, it always wants to misbehave during an intense attack. Tiny Tank's camera loses marks for making the game more frustrating than it should have been.

Complaint Dept. Aside from the spazzy camera and the loose jumping, my biggest gripe is the absence of a mid-level save feature or at least, a "continue from the spot you died", feature. When you have to hit the boss just one last time and then you bite it and have to restart and replay the entire level again...well that's not only mean, but it borders on mental abuse. Not only that, but it really pisses me off!

Tiny Tank is an ambitious game that falls short of greatness due to some fundamental camera problems. If you are expecting it to be a run of the mill tank game, then you'll be pleasantly surprised thanks to it's humor and personality. At best, it's a decent game that will provide a good level of challenge while keeping you entertained.






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