Awful camera angles are possibly an even more formidable adversary than the COBRA forces you’ll run into at every turn. There’s really no camera controls to be found here at all, and the often distant third-person perspective doesn’t make it easy to see where to go and what you’re shooting at half the time. What’s more frustrating than the fact angle controls don’t exist, is that there are many instances where you be randomly jabbing at buttons in vain wishing they did.

Visually, The Rise of Cobra straddles the line between pretty decent and barely passable. The tiny onscreen text will destroy your eyes from turbo squinting, but the cutscenes are enjoyable enough. One thing that will irk old-school G.I. Joe fans is that the visual accoutrements that gave individual characters their uniqueness have been dulled down or ditched completely in favor of lame gray power suits. There’s not a lot that lets you differentiate between the two onscreen characters, and there are moments where it’s easy to lose track of your Joe and inadvertently mistake a COBRA soldier for your character. It’s as if almost every ounce of personality has been stripped out. This is more due to the direction the film took than the developer’s wrongdoing. It’s yet another reminder that new isn’t always better.

Any potential for the action-packed shooter fun that might actually be hidden in here somewhere to show its face is constantly tripped up at every turn, making for an unforgettable experience… in the worst possible way. Being inspired by 㦙 years of rich G.I. Joe history” does not immediately make the end result worthy of the G.I. Joe name. The Rise of Cobra brings that point home like nothing else. True G.I. Joe fans will want to avoid this like the plague. I almost I feel bad for the younger generation of G.I. Joe enthusiasts that are missing out on some true 80s goodness by mistaking this imposter for the real deal.

By Nathan Meunier
CCC Staff Contributor