Remember when Contra: Legacy came out for the PlayStation? What a letdown. After the majesty of Contra in 2D on the NES, SNES and Genesis, it seemed that a 3D Contra just wasn't very much fun. And that was true; the game sucked. Fast forward a few years later and we now have Green Rogue, which is in essence another 3D Contra (or an updated Commando, Ikari Warriors etc.) minus the very thing that made those games classics: Fun. Green Rogue is a trial from beginning to middle, where you will ultimately shut the system down, never to return. If you actually suffer enough and get through to the end, email me and let me know what happens, okay?

Back in the old days, wave after wave of enemies meant hours of wild action, however that tired excuse for gameplay no longer can hold the attention of today's gamers; young or old. Repetition for the sake of elongating a tired premise is just a way to make it look like you are getting something for your money. Let me be the first to say that you aren't. Whether the enemy is tan or blue, they are nothing more than insignificant polygon obstacles while you make your way through each enemy infested territory. The end bosses are a joke, their mere existence to signify that indeed, you are at the end of another level, otherwise, believe me, you couldn't tell. The biggest problems with the game fall squarely on the shoulders of the scrolling screens (which doesn't allow any backtracking), the non-ability to switch weapons (you'll have to find another one if the current one blows), the nice graphical effects (like all the things you can set on fire with the flamethrower) which slow the game down considerably and the lousy collision detection which will make some enemies seem like Superman.

After playing Green Rogue for a small amount of time, it's obvious that this game was rushed out the door and I can't understand why. Did 3DO feel that releasing two Army Men games at the same time wasn't enough? Was it really necessary to get this one to market that quickly? Luckily, 3DO made it easy for you to choose which one to buy. Army Men Air Attack 2 is clearly the winner of this beauty contest. Sarge's Heroes 2 is the runner up and Green Rogue is the fat girl with the moustache.