ironic that Indiana Jones and Emperors
Tomb turned out to be a videogame instead of
a movie. Why is that ironic? Its not.
Thats not the correct use of the word
ironic. Im using it that way
on purpose because Alanis Morisette displayed
her grammatical ignorance in her song Ironic
by citing examples that are clearly not ironic.
Coincidental or unfortunate perhaps, but not
ironic. If you dont know how to use words
correctly then either take up housekeeping or
come and work for us. We use words as weapons
here and I can only hope that Alanis is turning
over in her grave somewhere. Or is that just
her career thats dead?
on the movie series that redefined the action
genre, Indiana Jones and the Emperors
Tomb is what I like to call an interactive movie.
Its a decent little game but it has to
be appreciated for its story as well which was
developed specifically for this game with the
help of the big man himself, George Lucas. He
might have just brought the writers a burrito
but at least hes instrumental in bringing
something to this production. Whatever that
you get the feeling that Im glowing all
over this game let me warn you that there are
a few issues that you may not be able to overlook.
The graphics are not up to snuff, there are
some control problems and it feels too linear.
You should feel as though youre part of
the movie and not just playing it to unfold
a predetermined sequence of events. Had the
illusion of freedom of choice been more prominent
this game could have surpassed a good
the premise of the movie, Jones is an archeologist
searching the world over for various artifacts
rumored to give the possessor great, supernatural
powers. The Nazis are also looking for these
artifacts and will stop at nothing to foil Jones
plan. Hes also keeping an eye on them
to make sure they dont find them first.
The year is 1935 and were talking about
the Nazis here, not the Beverly Hillbillys.
elements of platform, shooting, combat, puzzle
and action/adventure, Jones travels to locations
as diverse as Ceylon, Istanbul and Hong Kong,
taking time to visit a few mines, caves, canyons
and temples along the way. One of his coolest
features is his whip. Like Daredevil or Spider-Man,
he can use it to swing from various platforms
as well as using it as a weapon. It takes more
than a few lashes to eliminate an enemy which
makes it almost useless when youre surrounded.
I havent been hit with a whip but I can
guarantee that you wouldnt have to crack
my ass twice with it before I got the idea to
mind my own damn business.
are plentiful despite the fact that Jones didnt
use them in the movie, except for that one scene
with the famous smartass comment that I wont
reveal in case you havent seen it and
want to rent it. (Hey, Im sure you can
get it for free nowadays with the rental of
a large pizza). From single-shot German Lugers
to machine guns, Jones takes on all variety
of enemies. Ammo is plentiful, the AI is fairly
easy to kill although you have to whack at them
many times each, and the puzzles wont
stump you for long, keeping the pace of the
game moving along. Jones also has a huge selection
of moves such as climbing, running, hanging,
jumping, punching, blocking and rolls. The balance
of combat is varied between hand-to-hand and
weapon use, interspersed with a good mix of
puzzles, platforms and cutscenes.
the most part the graphics are just craptacular.
They lack polish and shine. The backgrounds
and the variety of textures display a marked
attention to quality but the character models
are basic and the animation is stiff and unnatural.
Still, if the story captures your interest,
these technicalities are superfluous thought
there is no excuse for such shoddy craftsmanship.
Be warned that there is no Surround Sound despite
the fact that the music is great and the voiceacting
it ironic that this videogame version based
on the trailblazing movie should be considered
adequate at best? Ironic, no. Unfortunate, yes.
I hope youve learned something? If not,
send us your resume.