Sexy Poker Review
Sexy Poker box art
System: Wii (WiiWare) Review Rating Legend
Dev: Gameloft 1.0 - 1.9 = Avoid 4.0 - 4.4 = Great
Pub: Gameloft 2.0 - 2.4 = Poor 4.5 - 4.9 = Must Buy
Release: Aug. 3, 2009 2.5 - 2.9 = Average 5.0 = The Best
Players: 1 3.0 - 3.4 = Fair
ESRB Rating: Mature 3.5 - 3.9 = Good

Still, the A.I. has a few recognizable patterns of play that, though not completely predictable, offer the illusion of showing off a weakness in their playing strategy. Some girls tend to bet heavy with weak hands, while others stay predominantly on the conservative side of things.

Sexy Poker screenshot

The game has a respectable presentation for a $5 WiiWare game, but that doesn't necessarily make it good entertainment. The girls barely animate, only batting an eye or blushing, but that's about it. The artwork is cute, and when some of the girls reveal a little skin, there are fleeting moments of sexuality. But the lack of animation and variety make this a laughably shallow package overall. You can go back into the options menu for a quick peek at the girls undressing after you've bested them in cards, but it's nothing to get excited about.

As a matter of fact, if you're expecting hentai or anything close to it, think again. The "M" rating for this game is obviously due to the amount of double entendres, as well as the overt nature of the poses the girls are in - but don't make the mistake of purchasing this game for any type of adult entertainment. The cards are still the main attraction here, and that's a tough sell when you've only got two games on tap.

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The sound is equally competent, but again, it's not going to sustain any type of enjoyment for the game. So far as we could discern, each of the six girls is voiced by the same actress, and the music is right out of a cheap, off-the-strip Las Vegas casino.

We love cards, we love poker, and you know what - we also love the ladies. However, you're just not going to get any satisfaction from Sexy Poker. The girls aren't easy, they aren't sleazy, and the poker is boring. The visuals are lifeless, and the aural presentation is put forth with minimal effort. We fully understand that this is a $5 game, but it offers only about $0.25 worth of entertainment. Gameloft is dominating the WiiWare platform in terms of the number of games they've now made available for the system, but more isn't always better. WiiWare deserves creativity and fun, and this game fails on both fronts.

By Tony Capri
CCC Freelance Writer

RATING OUT OF 5
RATING DESCRIPTION
3.0
Graphics
It's an attractive package, but the girls barely animate and there isn't much variety.
3.5
Control
Controls are comprised of simply pointing at buttons onscreen and clicking. They work.
3.0
Music / Sound FX / Voice Acting
Like the visual presentation, the sound and music are barebones but serviceable.
1.9

Play Value
Blackjack and a single game of poker - that's what you get for $5. The unlockables include two additional deck styles, as well as being able to freely view the ladies undressing, which you'll have already seen while playing the game. If you're looking for cards or hentai, you can find both online for free.

2.0
Overall Rating - Poor
Not an average. See Rating legend above for a final score breakdown.

Game Features:

  • Get your pulse racing with a game of strip poker against a selection of six lovely manga-style women who may wind up in nothing but swimsuits or underwear when the final hand is dealt.
  • Choose the classic Texas Hold'em Poker to be thrilled as the bets increase, or try the Black Jack game for a mix of chance and strategy.
  • Enter the photo gallery to see the pictures you've unlocked by playing and winning.


  • Screenshots / Images
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