This isn’t just an issue with the whip mechanic, either, as you’ll constantly find yourself stuck in parts of the environment due to terrible collision detection. A funny side effect to this, though, is that enemies, too, will often get stuck, becoming cannon fodder for their own riflemen.

There are some neat and fun ideas in Zorro, however. Whipping your way across levels is an inspired way to use the pointer functionality, if only it were more responsive and forgiving. The swiping mechanic for using Zorro’s sword is also somewhat fitting, but again, executing attacks is slow and there’s absolutely no feedback from the Wii Remote. Many of the level elements make great sense in how they flow, but the developer forces you to repeat sections over and over. When you’ve got collision detection that is literally all over the place, enemies that are mindless yet still manage to chip away at your health while you’re stuck in some pocket of a level, and Zorro fights with the agility of an old lady, all the interesting ideas become a moot point.

If the gameplay is a wreck, the presentation and visuals here are the comic relief. Environmental textures are blocky and low res, the character animations are archaic, with each enemy showing off but one or two movement techniques, and the camera… the camera is a total mess. The developers have opted for a “cinematic” camera, and it flips and flops wildly anytime you move slightly about a level. I could almost say The Destiny of Zorro looks like a first-generation PS2 game, but that would be a disservice to the PS2.

As bad as the game looks, it still manages to chug and lag along. We can’t make heads or tails out of it, but it even managed to lock up several times in spite of pushing graphics that are from two generations ago. To make matters worse, you’ll be forced to sit through load screens of up to 40 seconds just to play what is, unarguably, a terrible adventure.

The sound and music are a little bit better than the game’s visuals, but that’s only because they don’t try to do much. The music consists of short, repetitive loops that are completely transparent, and the voice blurbs Zorro mutters are unintentionally laughable. The voice actor, however, seems competent, even if his lines are out of touch with gamer sensibilities. Additionally, don’t bother turning on your sound system for this game, as the fidelity will sound equally poor regardless of what you listen to it through.

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Once again, we have to ask, why? Why Zorro? Why now? And why has so little respect been shown to this mythology. Granted, it’s going to be difficult for anyone to make an interesting Zorro game in an age where fragging rules, but The Destiny of Zorro is a total mess of a game. There are glimpses of neat ideas, and occasionally you’ll sense the promise of fun. However, after just a few short hours, you, too, will likely wonder just what the makers of this game were thinking. Better to savor the memories of this legendary hero than to sully his great name. 505 Games has, with this one, opted for the latter. Don’t buy the game, don’t rent it, and think upon it no more!

By Tony Capri
CCC Freelance Writer