head? Check. Billy Idol-esque lip curl/snarl? Check.
Parental neglect? Check. Bad attitude? Double check.
Sounds like a checklist for that dude who presented
you with that prostate intruding atomic wedgie on
the last day of school as your "going away"
will soon introduce the world to Jimmy Hopkins, a
15-year-old bad ass with a lousy mother who leaves
Jimmy at Bullworth Academy while continuing on her
way to celebrate her 5th honeymoon. This is Jimmy's
last chance to get it together after having been tossed
out of every other prep school around. But it's not
his fault....it's lousy parenting! Tell that to the
poor kid who just received a head dunking in the public
washroom from one pissed off Jimbo.
has always been known for its off-kilter games turned
cultural phenomenons (Grand Theft Auto, Manhunt, Midnight
Club) and we expect Bully to stand proudly beside
its gaming brethren and continue the legacy Rockstar
has weaved over the last few years. Bully will not
feature the over the top violence of Manhunt, car
counter culture of Midnight Club nor the hidden hardcore
activities of San Andreas, but it will delight throngs
of nerds and weaker thans, who have been on the receiving
end of school beatings since they entered Kindergarten.
In that respect, Bully is the perfect premise for
a videogame and it's surprising its taken a developer
this long to realize it.
mentioned, Jimmy won't be running around the schoolgrounds
with an AK-47, but he will be able to administer all
kinds of humiliating monkey shines to those around
him who just happen to be defenseless and weak. Such
is the nature of the bully. If bullies tackled kids
tougher and stronger than them, they wouldn't be labelled
bullies, they'd be called "the kids who got the
crap kicked out of them". Most bullies don't
even know how to fight. They often don't have to.
They let their reputation do the dirty work for them
- like Batman. Call a bully's bluff and you'll often
see him quake in his boots. I was told this as a young
boy who had bully troubles at school and what do you
know? It was true. Mike, was the very large school
bully at my school. He used to give me and the other
small kids "atomic drops" which consisted
of him picking up a body and slamming it down hard
onto his knee. After a few of these I had had enough
- even though Mike towered at least a solid 12 inches
above me and outweighed me by 80 lbs. He grabbed me
one day and I said to him "You touch me again,
and I'm going to kill you. If you want to fight, let's
fight." There is no way I could have beaten him
in a fight, but I didn't have to. Mike didn't know
how to fight. And the thought of being hurt, even
by a kid as small as I was, terrified him. From that
day on Big Mike became my friend and he stopped bullying
people. If I hadn't experienced it firsthand, I would
have never believed it. But it makes sense if you
think about it. If you've never seen a bully in a
fight, there is probably a good reason for that.
in case the particular bully in your life happens
to know how to fight, a purchase of Bully the videogame
might be in order. It will allow you take out all
of your pent up aggression on defenseless non-player
characters peppered liberally around Bullworth Academy.
Use your slingshot to cause havoc from afar (Jimmy's
ranged weapon of choice) or simply beat them down
with your fists. Rockstar Vancouver also suggests
that Bully will feature a few mini-games such as hacky
sack, dodgeball and perhaps even rugby or football.
Floyd may have sang "We don't need no education"
which is ironic considering their poor use of grammar
(yes, I understand that it was supposed to be that
way!) but if Rockstar Vancouver has their way, gamers
of all ages will be lining up to get into the Bullworth
Academy later this year. Bully promises to be "one
small smack for nerds, one giant wedgie for nerdkind."