not forget this Grasshopper. Sega's first love is
arcade games and we all know that arcade games are
as deep as an amoebas bellybutton.
is life on the mean streets of um, er, Battle Street.
A place where everybody knows your fist. That's right
babies. Battle Street isn't for hair brushing, cologne
wearing fancy boys. It's for men who like to put their
fists and feet into the faces of other men and they
do so, day in and day out and never ever get tired
of it. Sounds kinda gay to me.
here's the deal. I'm in a rush. The kids are on Spring
Break and my wife and I are taking them to a hotel
so they can run around and scream and play in the
pool and go down the waterslides a few million times.
Right now my wife is attending Vin Diesel's Oscar
winning performance in The Pacifier (with the kids)
and I volunteered to stay home and finish writing
up my review just in case anyone I happened to have
met in my life accidentally witnesses me entering
that theater. So I have to finish up and be ready
by the time she calls, which means there isn't a lot
of time here. Not that I'll actually need it.
going to give it you to straight as there isn't much
time for anything else. Spikeout: Battle Street teeters
delicately between pure crap and pure fun. It's quite
odd. The game is as repetitive as they come, even
by arcade standards (this game is essentially based
on a coin op) and unless you're completely braindead
- and you will be well before the excitement wears
off - although it should be mentioned that the controls
were never intended to be executed on an Xbox controller.
More on that in a heartbeat.
single player game is insanely difficult because you
are faced with hordes of cookie cutter enemies with
names like Dupri, Max, Turtle etc. whom never stop
coming. You'll never reach the end. Seriously. The
game eventually stops being fun after awhile and you'll
just shut it off, never to return. The multiplayer
online mode is much more effective at holding your
attention because with some worthwhile friends along,
your online posse of morons can actually work as a
team and protect each other from the big bad scary
mathemetical equations of game coding that are using
a digital representation of a pipe to beat your skull
to the control for a moment. The one thing SBS has
going for it is a boatload of moves which will hold
your attention captive for awhile - at least far beyond
anything you've experienced while playing Streets
of Rage or Final Fight. However certain moves have
been mapped to involve the least intuitive control
scheme ever seen before in a game, and I'm almost
not kidding. Generally when you play a 3D fighting
game your hands are in the standard thumbs up position
(with the left thumb working the left analog stick
and the right thumb working the face buttons). This
configuration will work for awhile until you want
to execute more powerful special moves which often
involve pressing the X+Y+B buttons in various combinations.
Not comfortable and as I mentioned, not very intuitive.
the game looks okay, but it reminded me of a souped
up version of VIS' State of Emergency and we should
be far beyond that game by this point in time. The
animation is well done and the various blows look
like they actually have some impact but since nothing
changes from point A to point Z, it won't matter after
a budget priced title and one that you can take online,
you might have an easier time convincing your buddies
to pick it up so you can take out the trash online.
However, and I'm just being honest, it won't take
long for them to ignore your invites for "some
more Battle Street asskicking" while they pretend
they're not online while secretly digging into some
more Halo 2 or Chaos Theory. I predict this one will
be half price at Wal-Mart in a month or so. Wait it