Halo: Fore! Preview
April Fool's!
Halo: Fore! box art
System: X360 Review Rating Legend
Dev: Bungy Software 1.0 - 1.9 = Avoid 4.0 - 4.4 = Great
Pub: Micro-Soft 2.0 - 2.4 = Poor 4.5 - 4.9 = Must Buy
Release: Fall 2008 2.5 - 2.9 = Average 5.0 = The Best
Players: 1-4 3.0 - 3.4 = Fair
ESRB Rating: Pending 3.5 - 3.9 = Good
Combat has really evolved! Grab your clubs, and prepare to stay the course - on a golf course, of course.
by Cole Smith

April 1, 2008 - In the future, war is denounced as just plain silly. Even the Covenant and the Flood realize there's nothing that can't be settled over a good game of golf. No more needless alien bloodshed or cyborg shrapnel; the future is friendly and sophisticated. Welcome to Halo: Fore. It's a special, warmhearted time period where differences are decided on the outcome of a game. So join us this summer as we hit the links on Halo to play a few rounds that are definitely out of this world.

Halo: Fore! screenshot

There's nothing like playing on artificial grass - on an artificial planet - and that's why Halo is the perfect location for a friendly game of golf, where the fate of mankind is determined by a ball falling into a hole.

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Developers Bungie Software know only too well just how serious some people take their game of golf. "We know only too well just how serious some people take their game of golf," all of the developers at Bungie Software chanted at the same time.

"For many, it's almost a matter of life or death. Some people consider the game of golf so important they would even wear unsightly slacks and other forms of polyester material just to whack a stupid ball around in a field. So it was only natural that we decided that golf would take on incredibly prominence in the future; eventually replacing wars. That, and we also just ran out of good ideas for the follow-up Halo games," the developers admitted in uncanny unison.

Halo: Fore! screenshot

Halo: Fore! is not your average video golfing game. Each course is thousands of kilometers long. Constructed on the artificial planet known as Halo, the rotating mechanism that turns the planet occasionally fails, due to gross negligence. It causes a temporary suspension of gravity. This makes the game of golf multi-dimensional as balls float in midair. Specially designed clubs allow you to launch the ball hundreds of miles with one well-placed shot. Some of the special equipment includes plasma cannon drivers, laser guided balls, rocket-propelled putters, and Old West-style six irons.

But let's not forget that some of the original Halo's greatest features are the combat and the unique vehicles. Not to be outdone, Halo: Fore! didn't forget, as it features a great mini-game mode called Halo Golf Kart Racers.

In this mode you get to pilot various tricked-out golf karts that are capable of flying, skimming over water, racing over rough terrain, and even tunneling under the fake ground. In this kart racing mode you can gently tease your competitors with smoke screens, oil slicks, rude horn noises, and even stink bombs. Rough language and intentional collisions will be dealt with severely. We don't want to start another war.

Halo: Fore! screenshot

The music was composed by a man that looked a lot like Elvis. The musical score was purchased outside of a Burger King somewhere in Wisconsin. It's a mix of rockabilly and opera, the perfect blend for such an innovative and exciting game. We like to call it Operabilly.

New playable characters are being developed, but are a closely guarded secret at this point. The developers claim that early tests with pro golfer John Daly proved disastrous as his massive weight caused the artificial planet Halo to fall out of orbit.

"We didn't realize just how big he had gotten," chimed the developers. "He's so large he even has his own gravitational pull. So we just dropped him off at the Burger King in Wisconsin. The same place where we met Elvis. I'm sure those two fat bastards are in burger heaven right now."

Halo: Fore! will only be available at Wal-Mart. When asked why Wal-Mart was given the exclusive on this game, the developers told us that it wasn't an exclusive at all. "Wal-Mart will sell anything to anyone," the developers bellowed in synchronous chorus.

By Cole Smith
CCC Senior Writer

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