Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad Review
Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad box art
System: X360 Review Rating Legend
Dev: Teamsoft 1.0 - 1.9 = Avoid 4.0 - 4.4 = Great
Pub: D3 Publisher 2.0 - 2.4 = Poor 4.5 - 4.9 = Must Buy
Release: Feb 10, 2009 2.5 - 2.9 = Average 5.0 = The Best
Players: 1-2 3.0 - 3.4 = Fair
ESRB Rating: Mature 3.5 - 3.9 = Good

Surprisingly, the ease of Samurai Squad's story mode actually masks a lot of nuance in the fighting system. You can lock on to enemies, switch characters, and execute special moves. There's even a practice mode where you can hone your techniques. It's too bad you have to unlock the difficulties in which said techniques amount to anything more than mashing different buttons than you would otherwise.

Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad screenshot

Some other modes add replay value, but they don't improve the game's quality; since the title isn't worth playing the first time, any replay value is wasted. You can fend off random hordes of zombies, try to accomplish specific feats, or play co-op locally. It's frustrating to know that so much effort went into creating content for such an awful game.

This title's overall presentation isn't quite dreadful, but it suffers from a definite lack of polish. The graphics are OK in and of themselves; they depict the half-naked heroines in some detail (of course), and the 3-D environments, while they're all similar to each other, don't look half bad. Some of the cutscenes are downright impressive. The problem is that the game doesn't run well, both when you’re in control and during some of the cutscenes, and as a result, you'll sit through load times (during which you can play a 2-D hack-and-slash mini-game) and notice visual glitches galore. The sound is a good deal worse: cheesy, synthetic pop and rock tracks. Also, the text that explains the aforementioned story is awkwardly translated, and the voice acting isn't translated at all.

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The most that can be said in support of Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad is that it's mildly amusing, at first, to slice through countless zombies in quick succession, while watching the blood fly. From there it's all downhill: the sex and blood represent a dedication to offense, not art; there's no technique required in the hardest immediately available difficulty; the game was poorly executed on a technical level. If you're reading this review, that means you have Internet access, and therefore you're not a 15-year-old boy without it. Skip this game.

By Robert VerBruggen
CCC Freelance Writer

RATING OUT OF 5
RATING DESCRIPTION
3.0
Graphics
The images look good, but the game runs poorly, which leads to a lot of visual glitches.
4.4
Control
Push buttons. Kill zombies.
1.2
Music / Sound FX / Voice Acting
Super-cheesy rock and pop tracks.
1.3
Play Value
Mildly amusing for about five minutes. The harder difficulties provide more challenge, but you have to work your way through the too-easy Normal setting to unlock them.
1.7
Overall Rating - Avoid
Not an average. See Rating legend above for a final score breakdown.

Game Features:

  • Sword-wielding action: Killer combat system is focused on swordplay with multiple playable characters: Aya and Saki, plus an unlockable character.
  • Hidden powers: Rage Mode unleashes the hidden powers of Aya and Saki.
  • Co-op play: Join with a friend in two-player co-op offline mode for every mission in the game.
  • New outfits: Dress-up mode allows you to outfit your characters for battle.
  • Marketplace extras: Download new playable characters and outfits from Xbox Live.


  • Screenshots / Images
    Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad screenshot - click to enlarge Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad screenshot - click to enlarge Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad screenshot - click to enlarge Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad screenshot - click to enlarge Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad screenshot - click to enlarge Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad screenshot - click to enlarge Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad screenshot - click to enlarge Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad screenshot - click to enlarge Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad screenshot - click to enlarge Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad screenshot - click to enlarge Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad screenshot - click to enlarge Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad screenshot - click to enlarge

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