Video games often imitate life in various ways. From telling stories rooted in humanity to exaggerating the mundane details of every day human life, we often see ourselves in games. But the other way around usually doesn’t work. As many habits as we can develop within video games, it’s generally a bad idea to do just about any routine thing that happens in a game in real life. I’m not just talking about not smashing your head into bricks and eating strange mushrooms, either.
Here are ten things that regularly happen in video games that you should really go out of your way to avoid replicating once you turn the console off.
Fight Animals for Pocket Change
Nobody’s going to walk into a room and judge you for slaughtering woodland creatures in Final Fantasy, no matter how large your fuzzy, little body count is. After all, how else are you going to get enough gil to buy that next weapon? But in real life, generally speaking, squirrels don’t really carry much change on them. If you’re walking down the street and see a tiny mammal, you should probably not run up and kick it in an attempt to get some extra bus money.
If there’s one thing video games like to let us do, it’s cause untold amounts of property damage, especially to vehicles. If there are cars in a video game and it isn’t about racing, you can probably punch them until they explode. In real life, punching a car is a good way to end up in the hospital with a broken hand. Sorry, no bonus points here.
Offer Priests Money to Revive the Dead
Sometimes, people die in video games, even your best friends. But usually, there’s a good chance you can waltz up to a house of worship, slip a few coins into the Father’s robe, and walk out with a newly-breathing buddy in tow. In real life, trying to give your priest money to revive a dead relative won’t work out. They’ll probably just take your money anyway and use it to buy a sports car.
Never Change Your Clothes
I understand the importance of being stylish and maintaining a look all of your own. Everyone wants to stand out in a crowd and be instantly recognizable for who they are. But it’s totally possible to do all of those things while still owning and wearing more than one outfit. Do RPG heroes actually do laundry at all? Wearing the same thing every day is a good way to get labeled a weirdo, if you’re looking for a quick way to do that.
In video games, gambling is a fun way to pass the time. It’s low stress, rewarding, and generally accompanied by fun music. Even if you don’t do well, you can just go out and beat up some more squirrels to get enough money to try again. Rolling dice for coins is a source of fun, even when losing minigames to your friends is devastating. However in real life, gambling can and will destroy your entire life in minutes. Be careful! Friends don’t let friends Mario Party for real cash.
Interfere in Police Investigations
We’ve all imagined at one point in our lives what it would be like to have our own Scooby Gang. Getting the opportunity to finally be the meddling kids who save the day would be a real hoot, especially if supernatural powers were involved. Unfortunately, in real life, poking your nose around where it doesn’t belong is a good way to get arrested or killed. Those Persona kids are pretty lucky.
Barge into Homes and Break Stuff
Think about all the times in video games you’ve burst through a stranger’s door and ruffled through their belongings. Think about all the times you kicked a door down and started breaking crap, right in front of the poor home-owner, right in their face. Now think about what would happen if you tried that in real life. Link is lucky that Hyrule doesn’t have a castle doctrine.
Running is really good for you. So much so in fact that it’s one of the most popular forms of exercise today. That said, you have to be aware of your surroundings and understand the proper time and place for running. Unlike in video games, in which running is the default form of movement for most, dashing around normal, public locations in real life will probably upset a few people.
Eating Food from the Garbage
If you see a hamburger sitting inside a trash can, there’s a really good chance that eating it will have some unforeseen consequences. Barfing is generally pretty unpleasant, and food poisining is no joke. Ness may be fearless enough to down the garbage burger, but there’s no reason for you to follow in that kid’s footsteps. He also agrees to be turned into a robot at one point, so he’s not the best role model.
Trying to Treat Injuries with Fresh Produce
If you walk up to a man and punch him square in the mouth, he might retaliate. If that happens, there are a few things you can do about it. For example, he may stab you with a knife he found on the ground a few moments earlier. If that happens, you need to drop everything else and go to the hospital. Eating an apple you found in a barrel will not prevent you from bleeding to death on the sidewalk.