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Console Wars

Console Wars comic – click to enlarge

Explaining the joke. by Vaughn Smith

If the GameCube had to bring his girlfriend around the cooler systems like PS2 and Xbox, surely he wouldn't really be able to compete. She would most likely be ugly and gawky, and I thought that the Virtual Boy would be the perfect punchline, due to it's awkward appearance. The fact that the Virtual Boy controller looked like a little nerdy kid brother, whose only purpose in tagging along was to meet his hero, the Xbox, clinched the deal. I never thought until after that the Cube and Virtual Boy are part of the same Nintendo "family", which actually lends the situation a much creepier edge. Cue the banjo music!

I received some mail about this back in 2004 from upset Cube owners who thought that the Cube shouldn't be made fun of, but what's done is done. The Cube makes a good Schlamazeil (as in Schlameil, Schlamazeil - look it up).

Things to note:

  • The GameCube is called Gabe because I took the GA from "GAme" and BE from "cuBE" to form, what I thought was a nerdy name. My apologies in advance to anyone named Gabe, especially Gabe Logan from the Syphon Filter series.

  • When the Xbox rattles off the list of possible "hot" devices Gabe might be dating, for the life of me I cannot think of one good reason why I didn't put "iPod." If I was an electronic device, I would totally date an iPod. Oh well, can't change it now.

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