What is creepier than a game that takes place in a decrepit village where the night sky burns with a sickly, toxic, unnatural green glow? What is creepier than a game that arms you with no weapon except for a camera capable of exorcising the angry dead? What is creepier than taking care of your own crippled twin who can be possessed at any moment by hungry spirits that force you to play a sick game of hide-the-sanity? What is creepier than sorting through the dilapidated homes of a degenerate people who prey on their own young in order to survive?
The answer: You are. Because you rotated around Mayu for over an hour taking picture after picture... after picture... and filled up a humongous album with her big, sad, doe-eyes. Just imagine that young, defenseless girl lost in the country and dependent on the whims of a sadist with a camera. This Halloween, her nightmare is your dream come true!
Like everyone else, I get reasonably frightened when tip-toeing past a dead person who suddenly lurches up and grabs my leg, or when walking by a window that shatters without warning and a gang of rabid, mutated dogs chase me down. But then I turn the game off and move on with my life. But there is one thing truly terrifying about the Resident Evil series. Something that echoes in my head late at night, merciless and unceasing, robbing me of any peace and draining all joy from my life. It's the dialogue... the god awful dialogue. I can't get it out of my head!
My Halloween challenge to you, dear gamers, is to engage in an in-depth analysis of Resident Evil's consistently horrible dialogue, and try to make sense of a tangled story that is an affront to reason itself.
The internet is already rife with collections of classic, terrible dialogue. For instance, in RE1, Barry hands Jill a weapon, tells her it is powerful, obviously notes that she is confused and so, to clarify, he adds, "... especially against living things!" But let us remember that not only do the older games sound pretty bad, but the newest one sounds terrible as well. Perhaps my "favorite" line of dialogue occurs at the end. Chris Redfield, that thick-necked simpleton, scrunches up his heavy brow and tries to understand the complicated, hellish journey he has just survived. "Was it worth it?" he ponders. After considering the question to the best of his ability, he ogles his two female companions and bellows, "YAH, IT WAS WERF IT!!!"