Gene
Wilder's Ghost! This game based on the movie by Tim
Burton, based on the dark and wonderful novel by Roald
Dahl is atrocious. And not "atrociously good
fun" either. Simply atrocious. It's like biting
into an Oh Henry and discovering that it is indeed,
a big fat solid chunk of stanky human dung and undigested
peanuts.
At
CCC we like to give games developed for children the
benefit of the doubt and we admit to being a little
lightfooted in these kinds of reviews because clearly
hardcore gamers and 6-year-olds have vast differences
separating their tastes, wants and desires when it
comes to gaming. But in the case of Charlie and the
Chocolate Factory, something went a little wonky
wonka, on the way from conception to gold and
whatever that something was, will frustrate those
gamers silly enough to venture too close to the product
(ie: turning the on the power button and actually
pressing Start).
Games
based on popular movies are all too often "me
too" 3D platform/collecting adventures void of
the magic and originality which captured the audiences
imagination enough to warrant the product in the first
place. This fate is entitely reminiscent of the many
side-scrolling licensed products turned videogames
found on the SNES and Genesis 10 years ago. While
the graphics and hardware have evolved, the impetus
to make a quick buck on a lousy product has not -
and therefore we will probably never rid ourselves
of this vicious cycle, as inexplicably these pathetic
ham-fisted movie tie ins continue to make money. Although
it's not entirely fair to fingerpoint, when it was
announced that Titus - who was responsible for creating
and publishing one of the worst licensed games ever
created, the dreadful Superman 64 - had in actuality
made a tidy profit from the sales (due mostly in part
to ignorant consumers: aka grandparents and colorful
box art) the floodgates opened.
CATCF
stars Charlie, the movies protagonist and you'll run,
jump, collect candy, throw candy, fix machines and
solve puzzles while you work your way through Willy's
fantastic chocolate factory. Unfortunately the game
play is utterly catatonic and without any imagination
which I shouldn't have to mention is in complete contrast
to the original subject matter by Dahl.
As
mentioned at the start, kids games are held to lower
standards in our reviews as long as they are designed
for the abilities of younger children. Unfortunately
the game suffers from unintuitive design and vague
objectives which will frustrate even the most patient
player. Without knowing what to do and where to do
it, you'll have to resort to trial and error. I was
convinced that the game was broken a few times and
no one was more surprised than me to find out that
indeed, that was the case. CATCF is rife with glitches
and other coding anomalies which will allow Charlie
to get into or fall into places he shouldn't, therefore
freezing the game or completely halting progress;
only restarting the system will fix the problem. I
hate that. At other times the current objective was
so utterly nebulous that I might as well have consulted
tea leaves and the neighborhood witch doctor for further
instruction.
The
game looks appealing and tries hard to capture the
bizarre look, sound and feel of Burton's sets and
characters, but it's as phony as Willy Wonka himself.
The pretty colors are only present to distract you
from the appalling gameplay inadequacies and the voice
acting by the movie Charlie is welcome, but in the
end it doesn't matter.
If
you enjoyed the book and either of the two movies,
leave it at that. Any attempt to extend your enjoyment
of the subject matter by playing this game will leave
a bad, bitter taste in your mouth that no chocolate
bar or sweet candy will erase. You've been duly warned.
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