It’s Aqua Teen-ish
That’s really the best thing to be said about this game. Fans of the series will get the joke. Non-fans will be left heads scratching. Fortunately, I am more of a casual watcher of the show, so I sort-of get the jokes. But my job happens to be in videogames, and where the humor may serve fans of the series, the gameplay in Aqua Teen Hunger Force: Zombie Ninja Pro-Am falls disastrously flat.
The game starts off in typical Aqua Teen fashion (it even has their trademark opening). Frylock asks Shake Master if he has any mail from an ultra-exclusive golf club. And lo and behold he does, and furthermore he has been invited to participate in the golf club’s upcoming tournament, the Zombie Ninja Pro-Am. Of course Shake Master, being the jealous type, has to tag along with Frylock and participate in the tournament as well. Now what about Meatwad? Well, he’s just there, as he often is.
From here you’ll enter a tutorial mode where you’ll learn the basics of golfing. The way you play is very similar to other well-established golf games. You have a bar on the bottom of the screen which you have to use to measure your backswing, and again to measure your speed. The golf mechanic works pretty well in the tutorial mode, which consists of breaking neighbor Carl’s windows and hitting the golf balls into his pool.
Once you’re finished practicing, then it’s time to enter the big leagues. You enter into the Zombie Ninja Pro-Am as Shake, and you play as him throughout. I suppose Frylock stopped trying to win the argument. After some pretty amusing commentary from a generic golf commentator and a robot turkey, you’re off to start golfing. One of the things you’ll notice right off the bat is how the controls change from the training to the tournament. They seem a little tighter at the beginning, but now that you’ve got a wider scope, the flaws are a little more obvious.
Once you take the first swing, that’s when the real meat of the game begins. Instead of just warping to where you hit the ball, you’ll have to walk to it. And of course this wouldn’t be so bad if you weren’t being constantly attacked. After nearly every swing you take, you’ll be attacked by all manner of creatures including (but most certainly not limited to): robotic birds, annoying cubes, orange squares, and even Carl’s…um…crabs.
The combat system in this game has you taking control of either Frylock or Master Shake and using weapons and attacks unique to them. Frylock uses his eyebeams for more ranged attacks, and can get lightning bolt and targeted missile power-ups. Master Shake’s attacks are melee-based, and he uses a golf club as his base weapon. Master Shake can also attack with a chainsaw, a sword, and even an electric guitar. The battle aspect of this game really plods on, and is a real annoyance when you’re just trying to get through a hole. If it were only one or two battles in between swings, it would be okay, and maybe even funny, but it’s almost as if the developers wanted to make a fighting game with a golf swing or two in between. Which results in an unbalanced and frustrating gameplay experience.
Once you are finally able to get through a few frenzied holes, you meet up with some frat creatures. And they want to challenge you to a race. I know this sounds random, but let’s remember what we’re talking about here. It’s Aqua Teen Hunger Force. None of it is going to make sense. Anyways, these frat boys are going to get the chase of a lifetime as the Aqua Teen gang all pile into said golf kart and wreak havoc on those confident frats.
The only trouble is that the kart controls are absolutely horrible. Sure you can accelerate, but steering? Forget about it. Every time you try and take a sharp turn, your kart either ends up flipping over or going completely out of control. There are also these nasty little “boost” power-ups you can collect. However, what these power-ups end up doing is making it so that you cannot steer at all. You are essentially at the mercy of your terrain, and all the “boost” power-up ends up doing is putting you in last place. But the fluctuating amount of control you have over your vehicle isn’t even the worst part. The camera takes that privilege. Anyone who has played any type of automotive game ever knows that it is vital to know where you are and where the track is at all times. Unfortunately in this game, the camera somehow loses you, and sometimes you can only see your tail end. You literally cannot tell where you’re going. If the gameplay was frustrating before, this is where it goes over the top.
Another area where this game gets it unabashedly wrong is in the graphics department. The actual visuals don’t look bad, but the real issue here is an inconsistent framerate. I’m not really one to notice these types of things, but in this game, the framerate drops and accelerates at such weird intervals that it may just induce headaches. That’s really the only issue as far as the graphics are concerned, and if that were fixed, it wouldn’t look half bad. But as it stands, the variable framerate ruins any chance this game had of at least looking decent.
Fans of the series will be happy to know that all the voices from the series are the same in the game, including famed support characters like the Mooninites and MC Pee Pants. Yes, I know, this game is star-studded. However, when you’re playing, the characters spit out these really annoying one-liners every few seconds. And there’s only about three of them, so what you get is the same fifteen-second looping dialogue for the course of the level (which could be up to ten minutes or so). This can lead to extreme agitation and muting of the sound. Actually, muting before hand is advised.
The only saving grace of this game has to be the bonus content, which is actually pretty sweet. You get four whole episodes, including one that has never been aired on TV. You also get a few behind-the-scenes looks with the series creators. However, for fans of the series, most of this content is already available on the various DVDs that are out. But if you’re really itching for that miniscule amount of bonus content, then I suppose nothing I could say could dissuade you from getting this game in the first place.
Essentially, Aqua Teen Hunger Force: Zombie Ninja Pro-Am will put you through four hours of gameplay, and the end result is a few amusing moments, but a whole lot more frustrating ones. Honestly, the material here would have made a better episode rather than game. There are some moments where the dialogue is funny, and you may even find yourself chuckling at a fart joke. But all the fart jokes in the world could not save this game from being a title that is better off not played.
Features:
RATING OUT OF 5 RATING DESCRIPTION 3.0 Graphics
Decent. Looks like a somewhat upgraded version of the television show, but framerate fluctuates way too much. 2.5 Control
Controls are alright at first, but as “difficulty” increases, you’ll notice you don’t have as much control as you originally thought. 2.5 Music / Sound FX / Voice Acting
On the positive side, you’ll hear all familiar voices. On the negative side, they keep repeating the same one-liners over and over. Result: agitation. 2.0 Play Value
It’s mercifully short, and there’s no real reason to replay it. 2.5 Overall Rating – Average
Not an average. See Rating legend above for a final score breakdown.