Museum Pit Stop
After spending weeks gorily popping the heads off countless raiders and other denizens of the irradiated wastes, diving headlong into much tamer territory on the Xbox 360 is a somewhat jarring experience. Bubbly, comedic fare loaded with lighthearted jokes and extremely safe, schlocky subject matter certainly seems out of place on a system that thrives on action, violence, and mature content. Microsoft’s console does indeed have some quality all-ages titles to enjoy, but Night of the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian is not one of them.
It’s a safe bet to suggest the Nintendo editions of Battle of the Smithsonian will do better sales-wise, as this sparse, cringe-worthy movie tie-in sticks out like a sore thumb on the Xbox 360. The game has some shining moments where creative mechanics prove to be reasonably enjoyable to mess around with, but the constant hand-holding and absurdly short length make it a game that will only really appeal to kids who’ve become hopelessly obsessed with the film. Considering a casual playthrough of the main game clocks in at only slightly longer than the time it takes to watch the movie itself, even the fun and occasionally funny moments in Battle of the Smithsonian don’t make up for its extremely limited value.
In the original film (which wasn’t accompanied by a video game tie-in), divorcee Larry Daley (Ben Stiller) takes a job as a night watchman at Museum of Natural History in New York City, and discovers an ancient, magic-infused Egyptian tablet brings the museum’s exhibits to life each night. Following the same plot as the movie sequel, Battle of the Smithsonian finds the Museum of Natural History closed for renovations and the exhibits moved into storage. Larry winds up as a caretaker at the Smithsonian where it turns out the Pharaoh’s brother Kahmunrah seeks to possess the magical tablet for his own diabolical plans. With the help of the newly re-animated Amelia Earhart and other exhibit pals, Larry goes museum hopping to recover scattered pieces of the tablet and figure out how to stop Kahmunrah’s evil plot.
Stiller’s likeness is spot-on, and the Xbox 360’s hefty graphical capabilities are put to good use here. Exploring the museum from a third-person perspective gives you plenty of room to pick up the visual flourishes applied to the environments and the wacky characters. Some levels appear rather dull in comparison to others, but most areas of the game are pleasantly polished. Cutscenes are particularly well done. In contrast, the voice acting and audio is hit or miss. Stiller will manage to wrangle a chuckle out of most players, yet his canned comedic delivery is often awkward and unwieldy.
Exploring your way across numerous museums puts you in the path of giant skeletal dinosaurs, spear-toting Egyptian warriors, infamous villains like Al Capone and Napoleon, and other perils to overcome. Each museum offers a unique setting to investigate, and there are tons of collectibles to hunt down in between the mostly linear objectives. Though the game is clearly designed to be accessible for younger players, the level of hand holding in Battle of the Smithsonian is incessant. A circular halo appears at each location you’re meant to go to next (it’s also marked on your map), and dialogue cues crop up regularly to ensure there’s absolutely no chance of you getting turned around. You’re free to explore at your own pace to collect items and complete minor side missions, but it’s hard not to feel constantly corralled forward to keep on with the main plot.
Parents will be happy to hear there’s very little fighting in the game. In fact, Larry doesn’t directly attack any of his adversaries; he works around that by using a handful of tools and special abilities to interact with and manipulate the environment to his best advantage. His main gizmo, keys on a retractable chain, can be used to grab and pull objects to him, swing across chasms, form a spinning circle of defense, or climb up onto higher objects. Another key item, a large flashlight, is used to direct magical powers you’ll pick up throughout the game.
Much of the adventure hinges on hunting down missing pieces of the Egyptian tablet. Picking up each piece of the tablet gives you a new power, which is where the game mechanics prove to be surprisingly inventive and fun. Tablet pieces let you interact and repair mechanical or broken objects, commune with animals to entice them to help you out, locate invisible treasures, jump through paintings, and more.
There’s more to Battle of the Smithsonian than merely exploring museums and searching for items. In addition to solving various puzzles, you’ll have the opportunity to fly a plane through tight corridors, ride a T-Rex skeleton to battle thugs, control a diminutive Roman soldier as he climbs through a snack-filled vending machine, and pilot a lunar module to dodge cannon fire. Not all of it is that enjoyable. It’s the game’s intermittent platforming elements that turn out to be the weakest link. In one instance, you’ll run and jump along the wings of antique planes attached via cables to the ceiling of a giant warehouse. This is where the controls start to feel imprecise and twitchy, causing you to fall frequently. Other platforming moments offer similar frustrations. The game isn’t overly difficult, and you’ll be able to persevere with persistence, but the final stretches may prove to be more challenging than expected for young players.
The biggest gripe about Battle of the Smithsonian – aside from the fact it’s simply a straightforward marketing tie-in to help rake in extra cash alongside the film – is that it just doesn’t offer much length or substance for the $40 you’re being asked to spend on it. The main adventure is really short – likely to account for the perception of kids having minute attention spans. Even if you spend the extra time to seek out all the bonus items to collect, we’re talking about a total runthrough of a few hours at best. Otherwise, the presentation is amusing and appropriate for kids, and the light difficulty and simple-to-grasp gameplay concepts are fitting. A little more length and depth, and this one might almost be worth a recommendation.
RATING OUT OF 5 RATING DESCRIPTION 3.9 Graphics
Shining moments pop-up in cutscenes. The rest is visually decent on the whole. 3.6 Control
Most of the time things work well, though platforming sections stink and it can be tough switching between magic abilities on the fly. 3.4 Music / Sound FX / Voice Acting
Kids will enjoy the corny jokes and goofy voice work, but the rest of you will cringe. 2.3 Play Value
Horrendously short. Little to no replay value. 2.4 Overall Rating – Poor
Not an average. See Rating legend above for a final score breakdown.
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