I’m Fallen and I Can’t Get Up
It’s summertime, and that means it’s blockbuster movie time, and that typically means that we can expect a bumper crop of crappy movie tie-in videogames. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is a perfect example. Let’s hope that this is the worst of the batch, because it’s difficult to imagine what could possible beat it. Feel free to use your imagination. And then use it again in honor of all of developers that didn’t use their imaginations to create this game.
Having seen the original live-action Transformers movie last year, it’s staggering to realize that virtually any cartoon episode has a more involved storyline. I’m positive I won’t be seeing this movie, but based on the game, and the game is apparently based on the movie, I would expect more of a plot in the instructions to making instant coffee. And this is coming from an overgrown kid that loves giant robots.
The fate of the world is in your hands, or feet, or wings, or jets, or missiles, or wheels, or whatever the hell else you use to move around and pummel your enemy with. You will play as both the Autobots and the Decepticons. There are 10 playable characters in all including Bumblebee, Optimus, Starscream, and Megatron. This is definitely an all-star cast. For an action movie, it’s too bad the gameplay for the video game is a tragedy.
Technically the game flawed, and considering the developers played it safe with linear, redundant levels, that’s inexcusable. It’s little more than a mindless shooting gallery, and with an annoying isometric perspective that is typically reserved for RPGs. There are no dynamics. Despite the different playable characters with different attributes and weapons, they are almost identical in strengths and abilities, meaning they aren’t very strong and they don’t have many abilities. There is little else to do with the characters but trudge in the direction you’re pointed in and try to shoot at everything that moves. The missions are weak, as are the other elements thrown in to try to break up the monotony such as vehicle driving and boss battles.
Missions range from guarding buildings to escorting and protecting civilians. Basically they require that you shoot continuously. Hold down the fire button, strafe and continue until you just can’t take it anymore. Technically you will experience glitches such as the Transformer failing to make contract with weapon and health power-up. The collision detection system doesn’t always register commands. I had better luck picking things up when I stopped shooting for a few moments. Other commands such as the character’s movement and shooting direction will display a mind of its own when the character is moving and shooting.
The Transformers in your command lumber through the levels like a goalie in a swimming pool. They are so damn slow. It’s so frustrating that you’re likely to damage your analogue stick as you push it hard in hopes of extracting some miracle burst of hidden speed. I suppose this slow movement is to give your character a sense of the colossus but all it does is negatively affect the gameplay since the enemies are faster. It also doesn’t help there are overwhelming swarms of them. Just about every enemy or obstacle that you encounter requires a lot of firepower to destroy. You will be shooting and shooting and shooting, while seemingly getting nowhere. During this time the enemies and their turrets will be turning you into a cheese grater.
Boss battles are less frustrating as you are only facing one opponent, but once again there is little else required except for shooting. Some of the bosses have multiple target sections for you to make contact with. Hit all the targets and you’re a winner. In some cases the bosses won’t even fire back. Some will even get stuck in the environment.
In these instances all you have to do is fight them hand-to-hand, a welcome alternative from shooting. When facing off against Demolisher you will be forced to drive, not a welcome alternative from shooting because you’ll still be shooting. The driving levels are basically broken. The collision detection will let you pass right through traffic. The vehicles are clunky and clumsy and not much faster than the Transformers.
You will experience the same flaws with the multiplayer mode. Co-op and head-to-head modes may appear to offer a ray of sunshine, but even being evenly matched with cumbersome, impotent robots does not make these modes any more fun. Graphically the cutscenes are the only saving grace but you could save yourself a lot of money and see the movie if that’s all you’re interested in. Overall the game is not a visual feast. Environments are bland and largely non-interactive. The Transformers lack detail, especially when transforming. They tend to morph without displaying the animated gears, wheels, levers and other interchangeable hardware that are the franchise’s hallmark. Sounds, especially those of the weapons, are insanely repetitive. The music and the voiceovers are easily the most professional features of this game.
Casual gamers that don’t know any better will probably think this game is all right, but I can guarantee that the majority of them will never play through the single-player mode more than once. This game is just not fun. Rent it first if you don’t believe me.
RATING OUT OF 5 RATING DESCRIPTION 2.2 Graphics
Boring, largely non-interactive environments. Not much transforming detail. 2.0 Control
Control system is broken. It’s difficult to do more than a few things at one time consistently. 3.5 Music / Sound FX / Voice Acting
The music and voiceovers are solid. Sound effects are repeated. 2.2 Play Value
Little more to do than shoot and shoot again. 2.3 Overall Rating – Poor
Not an average. See Rating legend above for a final score breakdown.
Game Features: