When nerds pretend to be thugs, 187 Ride or Die is the result. This game tries so hard to be taken seriously that it’s embarrassing. With gang slang and tons of F-sharps, this game not only can’t walk the walk but it can’t even talk the talk. Anyone under the impression that this game is the answer to GTA is seriously misguided. If you think that a cool game is comprised of hip hop beats and cuss words than you might as well save your money and buy a rap CD. This crap is just window dressing. This game would never get any street cred. It was created by a team of losers that installed a paint-by-numbers lexicon of thug talk which is loaded with cliches designed to capture the imagination of kids from the Midwest that have parents that can actually afford to pay for games like this. If you really want to get mad, just go online and listen to some of these tough talking 13-year-olds. It makes me want to put my fist through something – their skulls actually, but it’s just not worth the effort and expense of tracking them down, purchasing an airline ticket and taking the time off of work. Or is it? At the core of this glorification of urban cesspool socialites, is a combat racing game that is average at best. It’s like a cheesy gangsta’ kart racer. You drive your car around and shoot at your competitors which are rival gang members. There are a few missions that include your typical escort style, and one that was stolen from Speed where you have to keep your car moving at over 100 mph to keep a bomb in the trunk from detonating. The tracks are relatively small and in no way comparable to the open-ended missions in the GTA series. Buck is anti-hero of the game. He’s a gang member out to wrest control of the streets from a rival gang. It’s one of the shallowest concepts for a game that you can imagine. You feel nothing for Buck. He’s just as much of a scumbag as the rival gang members. Still, it’s not a bad feeling to blow up a vehicle loaded with gang vermin. Powersliding is required to negotiate many of the tight turns you’ll encounter. There are a variety of vehicles both new and vintage but they suffer from unresponsive steering. It’s really no fun at all to control these vehicles – which comprises a huge part of the gameplay. There are various power-ups such as health and speed boosts. You can also acquire speed boosts by performing various skids. The boosts give you a rush as the environment blurs at the side of the screens. Weapons and ammo can also be picked up along the tracks. Pistols and automatic weapons are available as well as a steady supply of ammo. Molotov cocktails, mines and rocket launchers offer a diversion from gunplay but the rocket launcher is by far the most fun since it turns a vehicle into a fiery deathtrap. You can choose from manual shooting in which you can shoot in any direction using the analog stick or you can automate it using a lock-on targeting system which simplifies the combat aspect of the gameplay a little too much in my opinion. In Deathmatch mode, vehicles that take on too much damage will eventually explode. You will be armed with both a shotgun and a chaingun which you can use to kill enemies as well as destroy their vehicles with. A split screen mode lets you play head-to-head. The co-op mode has one player doing the driving while the other person is in control of the weapons and the boost. Online modes are similar to the single-player modes with the exception of the smack-talking punks that seem to confuse this with a role-playing game. Some of these kids think they’re the real thing and that just drives me nuts. I know that if these kids even met a drunk in a back alley they would crap their drawers. If only I had a plane ticket and a bottle of Johnny Walker…. Graphically the game looks about as good as it plays, which isn’t a compliment, just in case you weren’t paying attention. The animation is stiff and the characters all look like blow-up dolls. They move like them as well. The music is repetitive and even though I hate rap the lack of variety is sure to grate on everyone’s nerves. The voiceovers are not bad but the dialog is awful. Whomever wrote this script just doesn’t have a clue. 187 Ride or Die is bad – but it’s not so bad that it’s good. There’s nothing good about it, period. |