Best and Worst Video Game Dads

Best and Worst Video Game Dads

Best and Worst Video Game Dads


Raidou (Dead or Alive series) Raidou (Dead or Alive series)

The original villain of the Dead or Alive series, Raidou is a blight on virtual humanity. Not only does he have a streak of horrible sportsmanship, stealing every move his opposition uses against him, he also has some of the most heinous mutton chops known to pixilated man. Oh yeah, he raped his younger brother’s wife (giving birth to later series protagonist Ayane), crippled his nephew, and was generally enough of an ass to warrant being killed by his niece, Kasumi, too. I think we can all agree the DOA universe is better off without this power-hungry monster.

Whoever Nathan Drake’s Father Is (Uncharted series) Whoever Nathan Drake’s Father Is (Uncharted series)

We don’t have many details about the man who birthed everyone’s favorite wisecracking treasure hunter, but if Uncharted 3 antagonist Katherine Marlowe is to be believed, Papa Drake apparently gave his then-five-year-old boy up to the state after little Nate’s mom killed herself. That’s not the most loving move for a father to make.

Now, while it’s very much possible Mr. Drake was justified in giving up his son, one thing is for sure: Nathan definitely could’ve used a lesson or two about the sacredness of human life growing up. Time and again, Nate proves himself to be a sort of perverse demigod, killing hundreds of private security contractors a day while he spouts off witty remarks like “Oh that’s gotta hurt!” with an unconscionable glee. Add to that his insistence on lugging around a clearly-exhausted 60-year-old man with him on his killing sprees, and you have someone that could’ve really benefitted from some father-son bonding time as a kid.

Jecht (Final Fantasy X) Jecht (Final Fantasy X)

Father of squeaky-voiced hero Tidus and an internationally known blitzball star, Jecht took the concept of “tough love” beyond its reasonable limits. The man was a raging alcoholic, pure and simple, one who endlessly berated his son for being a weak “crybaby” who would never live up to his impossibly high standards. Sure, he and Tidus reconciled by the end of their journey, but that was only after the two of them realized they were both dead dream spirits. Besides emotionally devastating his son for the entirety of his life, the former incarnate of Sin also refused to wear a shirt for whatever reason. Put this all together and you have one lousy dad.

Big Boss (Metal Gear/Metal Gear Solid series) Big Boss (Metal Gear/Metal Gear Solid series)

Trying to condense Hideo Kojima’s action espionage epic into a paragraph or two is practically impossible, so here’s all you really need to know about Big Boss: He tried to kill his only decent son, Solid Snake, on two separate occasions; his other two sons, Liquid and Solidus, went on to be the two most villainous beings known to man. Also, he undoubtedly passed on a terrible smoking habit to his offspring. The man formerly known as Naked Snake can try all he wants to justify his past misdeeds at the end of Metal Gear Solid 4, but even then you have to sit through a 90-minute cutscene just to get a clue of what his intentions were. Less is more, Boss, less is more.

Heihachi Mishima (Tekken series) Heihachi Mishima (Tekken series)

I don’t believe there’s ever been a video game father as deliberately and wholly depraved as Tekken’s horrible-haired final boss. Series creator Katsuhiro Harada has described Heihachi as evil incarnate, and it’s easy to see why. We’re talking about a man who threw his five-year-old son off of a cliff because he deemed him “too weak.” Too weak? He was five! His kid, Kazuya, only survives by literally selling his soul to the devil for the strength to defeat Heihachi himself, which he does by the end of the original Tekken. From there, Heihachi devotes his entire being into taking revenge upon his son, all of which culminates in his killing Kazuya once and for all by throwing him into a volcano. A volcano!

Absurd filicide notwithstanding, it’s the pure lack of conscious on Heihachi’s part that causes him to be more than just a normally bad father. At no point does the elder Mishima show any remorse for actions or any hint of love for his offspring. He’s practically inhuman, a man entirely consumed by a limitless hunger for power with no heart to speak of. Heihachi’s deliberate destruction of all things paternal should serve as a reminder to dads and kids alike that no matter how rough things may get between them, they’ll still have a better relationship than the Mishimas do.

Jeff Dunn
Contributing Writer
Date: June 15, 2012

*The views expressed within this article are solely the opinion of the author and do not express the views held by Cheat Code Central.*

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