Exorline Makes Demon Banishment Affordable!*

Exorline Makes Demon Banishment Affordable!*


Reports of hauntings and possessions are being attributed to various occult-themed games such as Silent Hill, Fatal Frame, and Ouija: The Video Game. Designed to fight fire with fire, Exorline claims to be able to exorcise those demons digitally.

Exorline is the world’s first online Exorcism. It’s a safe, discreet, and affordable method of getting rid of unwanted poltergeists. Simply go online, fill out the form, and turn up those computer speakers. In seconds, a fully sanctioned priest will begin the ritual, addressing the evil spirits by name, and demanding they return to the realm of the damned from whence they came. Exorline claims that your home will be ghost-free in less than hour or your money back.

“This is a huge problem that people don’t like to talk about,” says Exorline founder Cornish Mundung. “People are embarrassed to admit that some games they played got a little out of control. They don’t want the neighbors to hear weird noises coming from their homes at night, nor do they want everyone to see a priest coming over to perform this sacred, and expensive, ritual. With Exorline they can banish the devil and his gang of unholy heathens in private, for less than the cost of a few barrels of oil.”

“It’s simple,” Mundung explained, “And doesn’t require any further interaction with the customer. In many cases you can continue to surf porn on the same computer while the exorcism is being conducted,” he adds.

According to paranormal investigator Evon Q. Evonish, ghosts and demons are attracted to negative thoughts, especially thoughts about the paranormal. If people should be engaged in games that feature paranormal activity, they draw these entities with much more fervor. Evonish claims that playing games involves more mental engagement than merely watching a scary movie, so ghosts are more likely to pick up the thought waves from a gamer than a movie watcher.

She also says these entities feed on fear. The more afraid you become, the more powerful the entity becomes. If this cycle continues, the spirit may eventually become solid, with the ability to physically attack the occupants of the household. Evonish advises that if you suspect your house is haunted to contact Exorline immediately, before things get really freaky.

*This article is presented as an exclusive Cheat Code Central feature titled “Are you dumb enough to believe this?” Please check back each Friday for the newest edition.

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