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She’s the world’s most unique performer, designed to take over the world. She’s a singing sensation guaranteed to appeal to you visually and aurally. Guaranteed. MissTQ is the world’s first digital-DNA superstar. She was manufactured to take over the entire electronic media including radio, TV, movies, and video games. Having been specifically designed for the purpose of entertaining, some would say she was “born” to perform. Synthesizing human DNA in complex replicating software, Miss TQ is a digital-human hybrid that’s been ten years in the making. It’s been reported she is so realistic the developers are calling themselves Creationists. The most unique aspect of MissTQ is her ability to appeal to everyone individually. This is because MissTQ, at her core essence, is a plasma energy laser, embedded with data that must be processed through 3D glasses to enable you to see her. Innovative software known as the Fenix will interface your subconscious with the computer, rendering MissTQ’s appearance to your preferences. Wherever she appears, she will always look stunning to you. Whenever she sings, she’ll sound exactly how you want her to sound. “You and your friend may watch a MissTQ video together, but you’ll see her as a tall blonde while your friend sees her as a more voluptuous redhead,” comments developer Lance Hillot. “In this case, beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder. A program we developed will automatically determine your predilection of the feminine by documenting eye movements made when shown various images. It’s all done subconsciously, so you don’t even know what choices you’re actually making. When you finally see MissTQ, she will be the ultimate girl of your dreams. Like a snowflake,” Hillot adds, “There will never be two exact versions of her. Just don’t forget to wear your glasses or she’ll look like a glowing glob of snot.” MissTQ could be young, middle-aged, skinny, plump, Asian, Caucasian, bespeckled, freckled, deckled, heckled, and jeckled. If it’s possible to ever tire of looking at MissTQ, a simple visit to the Fenix interface will give her a fresh new look, or complete overhaul. And then there’s the glorious voice. MissTQ is voiced by four of the top woman vocalists on the planet (who will remain nameless). The voices are blended to sound like one person, but with the most wonderfully luscious and richest tones ever heard. Womans’ Rights activist Jean Mullet claims this is a blatant example of stereotypical sexism, and asks why there isn’t a male version of Miss TQ. “Well frankly,” admits Hillot, ” Designing software to determine a man’s mind was fairly easy. As for a woman, we just don’t have the technology yet. They are far more complicated. I guess the saying is true, we still can’t figure women out.” *This is presented as CheatCC’s weekly “Are You Stupid Enough to Believe It” news story.* |