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It’s new, improved, and more versatile than ever. The PSP has been completely overhauled in an effort to compete with the DS, the world’s most popular handheld system. Sony is not going down without a fight and is determined to make the PSP not only the most popular handheld system in history but also the most versatile instrument ever created by mankind. It almost sounds ludicrous. The PSP will eventually be able to do everything and anything for you – and yes, it will even do windows (windows in your home and Windows on your computer). The PSP is going through a major transformation. So secretive is this project that there are no photos or images of it, but we were able to talk to those involved in this unprecedented evolution. The working title for this new incarnation of the PSP is the PSP UltaMax. It will be constructed of a Kevlar polymer with titanium bracing to make it indestructible. A neoprene coating will ensure that it’s waterproof. While the PSP UltaMax will retain the same basic shape of the PSP, it will incorporate retractable and foldable attachments to enable it to perform an incredible array of functions. On the technical side, it will include software that will make it perform as a GPS, a cell phone, a Blackberry, alarm clock, label maker, X-Ray machine, heart monitor, glucose blood-sugar monitor, and a TV set capable of receiving satellite channels. If that isn’t enough, the PSP UltaMax will also serve the needs of technophobes in real-world, physical applications. With special blade attachments the PSP UltaMax will serve as an axe, hedge trimmer, planer, rake, face shaver, exfoliater, backscratcher and with the special pole attachment, a shovel. Other attachments and expansion peripherals will have it serve as an umbrella, snack tray, hat, harmonica, abacus, pinwheel, mailbox, safety floating device, and with the suction cup attachments, a sturdy handle grip for getting in and out of the tub. According to the design team, the PSP UltaMax will be the ultimate utility tool. It’s designed to appeal to consumers of all ages. Resembling something of a Batarang, (one of Batman’s legendary gadgets), the PSP UltraMax will come with a belt attachment so that it can be worn as a fashionable accessory, not unlike Batman’s utility belt. “We are setting a new precedent with this device,” says one of its designers that can’t be named due to the threat posed by the thugs that Sony employs to enforce gag orders. “For many, this will likely be the only handheld system that some will ever purchase. Once we are able to make a drive-able version it may be the only item a person will ever buy in their entire lifetime. I should also add that it will play video games.” *This article is presented as an exclusive Cheat Code Central feature titled “Are you dumb enough to believe this?” Please check back each Friday for the newest edition. |