Spoil Sport: Evolve

Spoil Sport: Evolve

You want me to do a plot summary for a game that has no single player mode? You guys are crazy.

So here’s the plot behind Turtle Rock’s newest online only game, Evolve .

It’s the far future and humanity has colonized the stars. By colonized, we mean “found new planets and milked them for all they are worth until their resources are bled dry”. You know, like humans do. Whenever a planet has some hostile locals, a planet tamer is sent in to remove the threats and let the good old free market do its thing. (Spend real money on microtransactions in order to get more natural resources!)

Perhaps the best of these tamers was William Cabot, a man who had formed colonies all throughout the universe, probably in places he shouldn’t be. Also I think he owns a cheese company or something? Does anyone want cheese now, or is it just me? ($3.99 attachable cheese lunch DLC!)

Anyway, Cabot is retired now, and the colonies have had to do without his badassitude for a while. That’s fine for some, but not so fine for the guys out in the boondocks of the universe. Thus we come to Evolve ’s setting, the planet of Shear, out in the sticksiest of the sticks that the galaxy has to offer. Shear has a ton of natural resources just waiting to be exploited. Unfortunately, they also have a small infestation problem of giant man eating monsters… and also slightly less giant man eating monsters. Basically, everything here wants to eat you. ($9.99 for easy mode DLC where nothing wants to eat you and all the natural resources are lollipops and rainbows!)

And so the colonists of Shear call Cabot and his essentially psycho mercenary buddies out of retirement and politely ask them to “SAVE US NOW! OH MY GOD SAVE US! THEY ARE CHEWING ON MY ORGANS! I’M LITERALLY BEING DISEMBOWELED AS WE SPEAK! YES I AM A TROOPER FOR STAYING ON THE LINE WHILE MY GUTS GET RIPPED OUT! MY GRANDPA SAID FORTITUDE IS THE REAL MARK OF A MAN! SURE I’LL HOLD!” (Buy the $5.99 stories from Grandpa DLC pack today and learn even more of the backstory of phone guy!)

Spoil Sport: Evolve

So now a large scale evacuation has been called, and it’s up to you to both hunt down the ravenous monsters, as well as protect what remains of the colonists’ civilization. (New colonists coming as DLC in the future.) To do this you’ll play through a variety of game modes that require you to hunt monsters, monster eggs, protect generators, and of course, ferry colonists to safety. (New game modes coming as DLC in the future.) You can choose to play as a team of four hunters that focus on teamwork (New hunters coming as DLC in the future.) or as the monster if teamwork isn’t your thing. (New monsters coming as DLC in the future.)

There’s only one thing certain about the world of Evolve . If you are going to win as either the monster or the hunters, you absolutely have to-

(To continue reading this article, please purchase the $2.99 full article DLC. Or you can purchase a $39.99 season pass DLC which gives you a whole season of complete articles, except for special articles like reviews, which still need to be purchased separately.)

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