Gaming Company Charged with Sabotage*

Gaming Company Charged with Sabotage*


A new gaming company has been charged with sabotage. The company has admitted to sabotaging its own consoles and games in an effort to have them self-destruct immediately after the warranty expires. Charges of sabotage, corporate theft, illegal tampering, and fraud are being leveled at R U Game, a new company that has yet to break into the gaming market.

It’s not unusual for companies to use cheap parts and even shoddy practices in the manufacturing of their products, but it is unusual for a company to tamper with their products before they even gain a share in the marketplace. R U Games is so new that few people have ever heard of them. The company has been in existence for less than three years and truly believes they have developed a console gaming system that will create a sensation to rival the arrival of the SNES.

“We were so confident that we would take the world by storm with our gaming systems that we began to build malfunction-hardware into our product to have them fail in just over a year,” admits co-owner Gabe Yertle. “It was a simple concept. After a year, the components inside the machine would self-destruct, causing the kids to buy another machine. We did the same things with the games. We used a digital version of invisible ink, and after a few months the game would fade. Kids would be forced to buy new ones, and of course they would also fade after a while. We really thought we were going to be the richest people on Earth, at least until Jimmy the stupid tech guy blew the whistle on us. He’s religious or something,” claims a disgruntled Yertle from behind his Plexiglas enclosure at the San Quentin Penitentiary.

In each console, a specific section of the circuit board is covered in a thick, opaque plastic bubble, prohibiting inspectors and electronic technicians from determining the components. Inside the bubble, a mini explosive was timed to blow the components to smithereens. Since this cluster of plastic-encased components could not be identified, the console could not be repaired by outside techs. R U Game claimed they would not service their machines after warranty, forcing consumers to purchase new systems. It seemed like the ultimate, foolproof plan.

“We could have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for our head tech. He had an attack of conscience, brought on by an overdose of religion during his yearly weekend-long church revival meeting. I told him that God didn’t like tattletales but he said he couldn’t find that passage in the Bible so he called the authorities,” Yertle confides. “If only I had time to forge that Bible on his desk, I wouldn’t be talking to you right now.”

*This article is presented as an exclusive Cheat Code Central feature titled “Are you dumb enough to believe this?” Please check back each Friday for the newest edition.

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