Next-gen Games Dangerously Pushing Envelope!*

Next-gen Games Dangerously Pushing Envelope!*


At least three people are reported dead, and more than one hundred injured by seemingly malfunctioning video games and devices. It appears the overworked gaming consoles cause the gaming disk to spin out of control and self-destruct, eventually being ejected from the disk tray as deadly shrapnel. The large plastic shards are hurled at speeds over 120 mph. These projectiles can be lethal if they sever a main artery, or at the very least cause serious injury to unprotected eyes, throats, and groins.

“This is not the fault of the gaming machines,” claims Sony spokesman Clyde Twosum. “All next-generation consoles have reported the ejecting of gaming disks. We blame the makers of the actual games. Despite severe and grave warnings these developers continue to push the envelope of what our consoles are capable of. Games are getting far too sophisticated for our consoles. They keep pushing and pushing the boundaries. And when the machine can’t take anymore, it explodes. We are very sorry to hear that people have died using our machines, but it’s not our fault. We may have created the gun, but it’s these other unscrupulous companies that are making the bullets,” Twosum warns.

Authorities are conducting tests on a variety of new games purported to be using new and more sophisticated software and graphic engines. Tests will be conducted in secure government underground, nuclear facilities to determine the cause of the explosions. The PS3, Xbox 360, and various PCs including laptops are all being tested.

“Don’t let this make you afraid of gaming,” says former CheatCC CEO Arty Hackery. “When I was young I used to be afraid of a certain clown from a fast-food chain that shall remain nameless. And although that clown terrorized to me no end, I eventually overcame its evil force by indulging in the very food it was created to sell. And yes, that clown was created in Hell, that I’m certain. Now I may have over-compensated because I’ve just suffered my third heart attack and my cholesterol is through the roof,” admits Hackery. “Now that I look at it, I guess I should have been scared witless of that damn clown after all. He is actually killing me right now. What the hell was I talking about in the first place,” Hackery asks?

The government is considering a ban on all video gaming until the cause of this terrible problem can be solved. Until such time gamers are advised to proceed with caution and wear protective safety gear when engaged in gaming.

*This article is presented as an exclusive Cheat Code Central feature titled “Are you dumb enough to believe this?” Please check back each Friday for the newest edition.

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