Video Games Help People Levitate*

Video Games Help People Levitate*


It’s possible for humans to fly – without the aid of any external devices. According to researchers, we can soar like a bird using nothing but the power of our minds, and videogames can help get us airborne.

In the midst of all his infamous popularity, Michael Jackson was quoted as saying, “Humans have the ability to fly. We just forgot how.” Of course the rest of us normal people dismissed this as the inane ramblings of an uber-eccentric personality. But according to recent studies conducted at the Michigan Institute of Technology and Applied Super Sciences, Mr. Jackson was definitely on to something.

Evidence of flying, or levitation, date back to biblical times when St. Francis Xavier was reported to be able to “suspend himself above the Earth.” Let us not forget that Jesus also ascended into Heaven. And more recently, Buddhist monks in Tibetan monasteries are reported to be able to fly at will and have been doing so for centuries.

The key to this seemingly impossible, super-human feat is mind control, claims Dr. Otis B. Toven. He says that studies indicate that test subjects share a specific brainwave pattern when they reach what is known as “the zone.” This zone is relative to all humans that experience what is largely considered a higher state of consciousness. Joggers get joggers’ high. Psychics channel powerful energies in this state. Voodoo practitioners enter into trances. Martial Art enthusiasts become one with their mind, body, and weapon. And artists receive inspiration which helps them to create masterpieces in art, literature, and music.

“When the right and left hemisphere of the brain pulse at precisely 1.87 kHz, the two amplitudes compound and complement each other, resulting in one very high brainwave, akin to a cerebral tsunami” explains Dr. B. Toven. “It’s at this specific frequency where people report experiencing higher cognitive functions. People do perceive different effects in this state, and that’s because of different belief systems. If you believe that you can fly, you will fly.”

“Once in this state,” continues Dr B. Toven, “It’s very simple to levitate. All you have to do is shift your mode of thinking. I’ve had people float out of my forty-floor office and land safely on the ground after one simple session,” he adds.

One easy way to attain this brainwave frequency is through playing videogames. The good doctor says that after a few hours of pure concentration, the brain elevates its functions by entering into this supernatural state. “You have to catch it at the right time,” warns Dr B. Toven. “If you leave it too long the brain becomes sleepy. That’s why you get sloppy after playing a game for more than four hours.”

Players are not advised to leap out of windows on their first session. They are simply advised to take a break from gaming after about two hours, or when they feel they are entering into “the zone.” At this time they should close their eyes and concentrate on floating in the air. “You can do this while sitting on your couch,” Dr B. Toven claims. “You might have to push your body in an upwards direction to get you going at first, but in no time you’ll be hovering around the room like a hummingbird. Beginners might want to tie a pillow to their head to prevent injury from contact with the ceiling,” he warns.

The government is already considering licensing this practice and restricting flying to those under the age of 16.

*This article is presented as an exclusive Cheat Code Central feature titled “Are you dumb enough to believe this?” Please check back each Friday for the newest edition.

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